My Heart Will Go On
by HerEyes
Summary: After what happened on their wedding night, Quinn is determined to never forgive Santana and hopefully, stop loving her someday. Because this time, love is not enough to unite again broken hearts, it will never be. G!P Santana
1. Chapter 1

Quinn POV

"Who is the most beautiful girl?" I lift her small body from the crib in my arms and she immediately stops crying. She cries for everything I swear but I think I can forgive her, just for her cuteness "Yes baby, you are" Her big and gorgeous eyes opens and she starts looking at everything in the room.

She looks just like me. Blonde hair, hazel eyes with green/yellow flashes, she has my nose, lips, eyebrows even. Though I have to say, she has a lot of things that reminds me of Santana too. Like her dimples for example, they are really cute. Every time she smiles I see Santana there, and she smiles all the time.

She has quite the temper too, which It's funny sometimes, because she is only two months so is amusing seeing her so frustrated at things.

Isabella is my life, my one and only love. I even think I can explode sometimes with all this love I have to give her.

But honestly, there is still something missing in my heart. Somehow I feel Incomplete.

"What baby girl?" I ask my daughter once I realize she's been staring at me the whole time, I can't help but smile, she's so adorable, and she smiles back "Why are you so cute?" I kiss her cheek and she smiles again. How I love this little girl.

I hear the bell ringing and stand up with Bella in my arms. I didn't notice what time it is till now. Thanks to Santana now I'm already late, great.

I open the door and there she is. Looking fabulous as always, making look a simple leather jacket and jeans insanely hot.

I hate it.

Why is she so freaking sexy all the time?

I don't want to find her sexy anymore. I shouldn't.

I keep hoping that this feeling will fade away someday with time, someday soon hopefully.

Because everytime I look at her I feel the same pain I felt that night. Worse even.

I used to love being near Santana all the time. Now I find it hard to breathe next to her. I keep feeling my heart crashing into million pieces every single time I see her.

I wish it could exist a button or something with two options: Love her - Hate her.

Because after everything. I'm still working on _hate her._

"Hey" She says with a small smile showing her damn cute dimples.

"You're late" I ignore her conflict face and turn around to ignore the excuse I'm sure she's going to give me; so I headed to my room to put Bella in her crib. It's too early for her, she should sleep a little bit longer.

"Sorry, the traffic" There it is.

She doesn't live far away from here, that must be a lie. Two buildings next to this one. And she always has an excuse to arrive late here. Sometimes I wonder if she cares about Bella at all. She must be enjoying her free life now, sleeping around again and bringing every single women she can to fuck their brains out, to fuck them all night if it's possible.

And I don't really care about that -or at least, that's what I keep telling myself in order to live- I mean, it's been almost nine months since we are not together. She has the right to see whoever she wants and so do I. But at least she should be in time to see her daughter right? It's not so much to ask.

Santana walks behind me and when she reaches our room, well _my_ room now, she asks the stupidest thing. "Is everything ready for Bella?"

Why is she always doubting if everything it's fine? Doesn't she trust me?

"Of course everything is ready, what do you think I am? And if that weren't the case, I don't think you're stupid enough to not know what to do, right?" I angrily say. She always asks that dumb question, 'Is everything ready?' I'm not a bad mother "Well _you are_ stupid anyway" I add emphasizing the words.

I can't help but act like a bitch towards her all the time now. I guess it's just this ache in my soul speaking for me.

She sighs.

"Sorry" Santana softly says and then goes straight to the crib to see Bella.

This wasn't the life I expected, far from it. But again, it seems like things never work for me. I really don't know what I do wrong all the time. I mean, _I_must be doing something wrong, right? I'm starting to think that I am the problem.

At first I thought this was it for me, I thought I had the 'happy ending' in my hands, ready to enjoy it. And I thought that for a while. Everything was perfect with Santana, I was pregnant and we were going to get married, I was the happiest woman for three months, the happiest three months of my whole life so far. Three months that felt like heaven to me. I was more in love with her than ever. I was in love with my life too. Everything was going amazing.

But then it happened, and on my wedding night. She cheated on me on our wedding night.

How pathetic is that?

_Flashback_

_"Really baby" She says in my ear as we keep dancing with all our friends, her warm breath tickles me and gets me kind of excited in some lady parts "Words can't even explain how much I love you anymore" I giggled and hugged her tighter. This night has been by far the best._

_All the stress of preparing our wedding was worth it. All those long nights discussing what kind of food we should serve or where we were going to celebrate it was worth it. The ceremony was beautiful, I was even about to cry. Well my mom did and almost Rachel. But I was so concentrate in Santana that I didn't care about them at the time. I didn't see anyone but her in the church, no one else mattered. After all, I was finally marrying the love of my life. Finally._

_"I love you too baby" I simple said giving her a short peck. She looks really beautiful tonight, and sexy as hell. "You look really hot on that dress by the way" I say seductively in her ear and she takes a deep breath before answer. I adore how I give her goosebumps everytime I speak in her ear._

_"Well, you look gorgeous, sexy and hot. Adorable even. Flawless" She sweetly says._

_Truth is, I can't wait to finally be alone with Santana in our room, feel her soft lips and hands on me._

_I unconsciously look at her lips and bite my own. I really I can not wait to be alone with her in our room._

_After a while, Santana gives me a smile before kissing me. This time, with tongue, biting, sucking and everything. I love her lips so much. It's unbelievable how much I love her._

_All of this is unbelievable actually._

_"Thank you" I whispered against her full lips, her eyes shining with love and hapinness. It makes me feel even more happy._

_We kept dancing with our friends for a few more hours, this day is to celebrate after all._

_Everything is perfect in my life right now._

_Although, I still find it strange the look Brittany is been giving Santana this whole day, I don't like that look at all. But I'll just let it go for now._

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_"Rachel" I say with patience, showing her a smile. "For the last time, you can not sing in here. This place doesn't have the implements" Why does she always want to sing when she's drunk? I'll never understand that._

_"Ugh Whatever" She says singing the last part and I laugh "I'm so very happy for you my friend" Rachel drunkenly says to me, supporting all her weight on my shoulder. It's always funny seeing her drunk, but right now I'm not interesting in whatever she's saying._

_I can't find Santana anywhere since a while._

_Last time I saw her we were talking and laughing sitting around a table with Franny, Kurt, Blaine, Puck and Rachel, but then she excuse herself to go and talk with our boss who was looking for her. But that was like an entire hour ago. And I haven't seen her beautiful face. I'm already missing her._

_"Hey! I'm talking to you! I just asked you something really important and you didn't answered me" She pouts. Rachel actually pouts. I can't help but smile, she is so childish._

_"Sorry Rachel, what did you ask me?" I turn my head around again looking for my wife. Where the hell is she? __Probably with my mom answering all her weird questions. I'll kill Judy._

_"What it takes to find real love?" Rachel question makes me turn around to look at her. I give her a sympathetic smile. She's been really sad since her and Matt ended things, I feel bad for her._

_"Babe, just be patient. Love will find it's way to you, don't worry" I squeezed her hand to assure her._

_"But I'm not patient! I just want a man by my side right now" Rachel says and I can see some tears in her eyes. God it was something I said? I was about to talk again but thank god Kurt came to my rescue._

_"Hey Rachel come with me. I have all possible answers when it comes to love" He winks and goes to the bar with Rachel. I don't think is a good idea giving her more alcohol, but well. Kurt knows what he's doing._

_I never lost contact with this lovely guy. And when I invited him to the wedding he immediately offered all his help. So in these past few months we've been really close to each other. He and Rachel has so much in common that they're already like bbf or something. It's safe to say that Kurt and Rachel are my new rare but careful family here in New York. It's funny but it feels really great somehow. And Santana has been talking a lot with Kurt too. He's a lovable guy._

_"There you are! I was looking for you" My mom comes from behind me, shouting throw the loud music. Can't believe this room is still full of people drinking and dancing around. It's almost 3:00 am but it seems like they don't want to leave anytime soon "We're leaving, Russell is tired and kind of drunk" She points to my father who's talking with one of our coworkers, the one who always laughs with Santana's jokes._

_"Okay mom" I nod and she gives me a tight hug. "Take care of my dad" I say with a smile and she giggles._

_"I don't have any option baby" She keeps laughing as we pull away from each other. "Franny says she will leave later"_

_"Okay" Of course she'll leave later, Franny loves parties. I'm glad she's staying though._

_"I now I've said it a lot, but you look really beautiful today Quinn, I'm proud of you" She gives me a genuine smile._

_"Thank you mom, you look beautiful too"_

_"Not as good as my daughter of course" She reply looking at our dresses "You look like a real princess"_

_"Well I don't think so, but thank you" I turn around my head to look for Santana once again._

_This is weird._

_"Have a good night" My mom says with a smirk and I roll my eyes "I don't see Santana anywhere to say goodbye. Give her a hug for me okay?"_

_"I haven't seen her either" I frowned. I'm getting worried. I haven't seen her for about an hour._

_"Well she must be there talking with some guest, you know how she is" Judy says before kissing my cheek "See you in two days sweetheart, remember we'll have lunch with your dad and Santana"_

_"Yes mom, bye" And with that Judy goes to the bar looking for my dad._

_Nevertheless, my parents love each other. I hope to get well just like them with Santana someday, and maybe even better__. Love her with everything I have until my life ends. And right now, is the right place and time to show Santana just how much I love her, but I can't find her._

_"Hey little sister!" Franny says way too happy next to me "Why is the most beautiful wify all alone here? And why are you wearing a worried face?" I chuckle._

_"_Wearing_ a worried face?" I playful asked._

_"Yeah, you know" She takes a sip from her cup._

_"Are you drunk?" She isn't one to get drunk so easily, or get drunk at all for that matter._

_"I wish! I was talking with our sociable mom and one of your friends, Blaine I think?"_

_"Not a friend exactly but yeah, that's Kurt's boyfriend"_

_I turn around my head, examining every corner of this room. It's a really big event hall, and full of people._

_Where are you babe?_

_Maybe she felt sick and went to the restroom?_

_"Hey what is bothering you?" Franny asks me once she sees my face again._

_"I can't find Santana anywhere" I heavily sigh "have you seen her?"_

_She seems to deeply think about it for a few seconds and then she shakes her head "I haven't seen her either. Last time I saw her though she was kind of drunk" Franny adds._

_"Drunk?" What? She wasn't drinking anything the last time I saw her, just water. And that was just about an hour earlier. "What are you talking about?"_

_"She was a little drunk talking with a blonde girl next to the exit, I didn't see the girl's face very well but I think it was Brittany"_

_Brittany?_

_I begin to panic._

_Why was she drunk and talking to Brittany? I mean, I know she's her friend. But now that I think about it..._

_I start to look once again, looking at this whole big room, but this time looking for Brittany. She isn't here either._

_"Franny, Brittany is not here" I quickly said to my sister. And I'm sure she saw my scared face because in a second she is much more near me._

_"Quinn I know what you are thinking. But please don't be stupid, you just married the girl tonight!" She says out loud through the music._

_"I know but..." An uncontrollable doubt settles in my head. And I know is surrealistic, but my heart is telling me something too "Then where are they?" I ask Franny, as if she were the person who has the answer._

_"I don't know Quinn, but I don't think she's with Brittany right now. Maybe she is in the bathroom?" Franny asks me with a bright smile._

_"Yeah sure. For an hour?" I rolled my eyes._

_"Look Quinn" Franny takes a deep breath before continued "You have the damn suite for your wedding night in this same building. Just take the elevator and go there. Maybe she is already waiting for you" My sister suggests._

_Well to be honest, I haven't thought about it, wich is stupid because it should have been the first thing that crossed my mind a while ago._

_But still, Santana would have told me. I know her._

_Something doesn't feel right._

_"Okay, I'll go see if she's there" I nod towards Franny and she nods too._

_"Go get your girl little sister. I'll take care of everything down here"_

_"Alright, thank you"_

_With that I made my way towards the elevator, ignoring all the cheerful comments of our guests about how beautiful I look as I passed._

_If she is up in our room already, why the hell she didn't tell me? I mean, it's an important thing to say to your wife right? But well, it doesn't matter. I'll not let anything affect me tonight. Not even Santana's lack of comunication._

_I press the button 20 with a big smile, Imagining her in our bed waiting for me._

_I can't believe after everything, the place where we are now. Happily married._

_I look down at my ring with the initials S&Q as the elevator keeps ascending, and I can't stop thinking that this is where I should be right now. This is where I belong._

_Married to the love of my life._

_I hear a sound and then the doors opened, finally._

_If Santana isn't down there in the reception she surely must be here._

_I take off the golden card from my bra to open our door. Yeah, something I learned from Santana. This is a really beautiful and big room. We sure as hell are going to take advantage of that all night._

_I smirk to myself as I think about it and once I reached the door I quickly insert the card. The sight is beautiful. The first thing you see is glass walls and the whole New York City at your feets._

_This was all Santana. She was the one who surprised me with this. One more thing to add to my list of 'Why do I love you'_

_I begin to walk towards the suite and I find it strange when I see two glasses of champagne on the big coffe table. I frowned._

_"Santana?"_

_What the hell?_

_Who is in here?_

_I heard a small sound coming from the room and I walk there in no time. If Santana was going to bring a friend to our suite she should have told me. I mean, it's the least she could do._

_Maybe something happened and she didn't tell me?_

_But I don't know, it's still weird._

_I'm sure Santana would have told me._

_I opened the door of the main room, and once I entered, what I see... is thousand of times worse than any cruel nightmare._

_My breathe get stuck in my lungs and my heart stops beating._

_This can't be true. Please._

_What the fuck is this._

_I blinked to see better the scene I had in front of me but it's really hard identify with clearly. Maybe it's for the tears, tears that were already falling uncontrollably from my eyes. _

_My eyes knows what they're seeing, but It's my heart that doesn't believe it._

_I feel like I'm going to fade. _

I need_ this to be just a nightmare._

_Santana is fast asleep, naked. And Brittany is looking at me with a smirk, naked._

_I gasp as I support myself in the doorframe._

_"What is this?" I stupidly asked._

_"It was a matter of time for you to find out Quinn" Brittany says with a victorious arch of her eyebrows. "You should have known this would happen"_

_I try to control the urge I feel to throw myself at her and kill her._

_Kill them both._

_But my heart and soul breaking inside me prevents me to make any move._

_I can't move._

_I can't breathe._

_I can't do anything other than look at them._

_This can't be happening._

_I close my eyes and take a deep breath. In, out._

_Maybe this is just a bad joke, Santana would never do this to me._

_I'm pregnant with her baby. She said she loved me._

_She said she would never do anything to hurt me. She said she would never cheat on me._

_She promised it._

_She fucking promised it. Over and over again._

_I opened my eyes and Brittany keeps looking at me with a smirk while her left hand plays with Santana's hair._

_I feel like throwing up._

_Why she did this to me?_

_I wasn't good enough for her?_

_Is this even the first time it happens?_

_And god, why the fuck this day?_

_"Why?" I fight back a sob. __I didn't even know when that question left my lips._

_Now I'm sure I look pathetic, but __I couldn't care less._

_Brittany doesn't answer. She just smiles._

_I can't be here anymore. _

_I look at Santana one last time before running away from there._

_Tears doesn't let me see clear the steps I'm taken, but luckily I reached the parking lot in just a few seconds. Screams and more tears from the deepest of my soul leaving my body._

* * *

><p>"So at what time are you going to be back?" Santana asks as her eyes keeps looking at Bella. Honestly, most of the things I say to Santana are lies. It's just this rage talking for me because deep down, I know she loves our little girl more than anything.<p>

But It's just hard to control this anger.

"Already bored with your daughter?" I asked sarcastically with a chuckle.

"I'm just asking Quinn. And please stop insinuating that I don't care about Bella or that I get bored. In case you forget, I'm her other mom okay?" She keeps observing her.

"Oh, I touched a nerve there?" It hurts everytime we fight like this. But I need to relieve this anguish.

It happens everytime we see each other now. Every single time we see each other we fight.

"Just go Quinn. I'll take care of Bella all day if you want" Santana says, finally lifting her face and looking at me.

Finally

Sometimes I'm masochist, just like now.

I was dying to see those brown eyes. To see those eyes looking right into my own eyes. I haven't seen Santana in five days, she was in a business trip. Since Isabella was born she is been here every day. Every single day of these past two months. So now five days in a row without seeing her was driving me crazy.

I just can't help myself.

I missed her.

Even if we just fight now or ignore each other, I missed her.

"Good luck" She adds, without showing any emotion in her face but somehow, I know her words are genuine.

After everything that happened, the first thing I started to do once I put myself together, was quit the job I had with Santana and gave her back all the things she gave me once. Letters, thousand of teddy bears, clothes. Everything. It wasn't me who went to gave her things back of course, I sent Rachel to do that job, I couldn't see her face just yet.

So now that Bella is a little more big, it's time to look for a job. A job without Santana. And today I have my first interview so, I should be happy right? I really should.

Well, I'm not.

I'm still getting used to this new life.

I don't fucking like a single thing in my life now. Except of course, Isabella. But everything else sucks.

I have to look to the side when I see her eyes still looking at me. As much as I love those eyes, I'm not ready for an intense gaze from her.

And just when I looked to the side, I saw those tedious papers. A painful process that I've been avoiding to start, but Rachel gave me the strength and convinced me to finally start the documents for the divorce.

"Santana, while you are here you should read those papers" I simply said as I grabbed my coat.

New York weather, how I hate it.

She glanced at the blue folder and her face changes instantly.

"Quinn..."

"Don't say anything, just read it" I give her a cold glare, suppressing the ache and hurt I'm feeling right now. "What did you think? That we would be married forever?" Because that's what I wanted.

"Quinn please just list-"

"Call me if Bella needs anything" I nod towards the crib where my baby girl is "See you later"

So holding back the tears that threaten to leave my eyes, I turn around to leave.

This needs to be done. This needs to be done.

I repeat myself as I ignore Santana's voice calling my name.

* * *

><p><strong>A:N So there it is! the first chapter, finally. Leave a review and tell me what did you think ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Quinn POV

_I support myself in the wall as my body slowly falls on the cold concrete, tears already falling from my eyes, they're getting used to cry every single day. I'm getting used to feel like this. Lifeless._

_Is the first time I heard her voice so close after so long, yet so far._

_She's been trying to reach me for all media for about a month now. But she hadn't come to our apartment, not even once. And now, here she is._

_"Quinn just say something please. I've been here for almost two hours, I could be here easily another two" Santana says determined. Confidence shown in her voice._

_How hot I used to find that? Now it's just a memory that I wish I could forget._

_I can't answer her though. I can't let her know I'm crying. But she knows me so well that she probably even know I'm sitting next to the door, listening to every word she says from the inside._

_Yeah, she must know. She isn't screaming the things she is saying, she is just talking. And her voice sounds so near me, I think she is sitting on the floor as well. __She's been here for like two hours after all, she must be tired._

_I just couldn't find the strength to open the door. So instead, I cried. Just like a little girl._

_I protectively hug my stomach as I keep silently crying. I'm so weak when it comes to her._

_"You must be proud of your mom" I whispered to my baby bump. Sarcastically._

_My belly is already showing. I'm just three months, but this little girl or boy wants to see the world soon apparently. I'm sure is a girl though, I don't know why but I just know it. _

_She is growing so fast, some days she even surprise me with a little kick._

_And that's precisely what Santana is claiming, be part of this baby life. Of course I'll let her be part of her life she's her other mother, but I'm not ready to see her._

_"I can hear you Quinn"_

_I panic when I heard her saying that._

_Maybe I say that stupid thing to my baby too loud? __  
><em>

_"It's nice" She continues while I close my eyes and mouth hard, trying to retain the sob I'm sure is about to leave my body. "Is nice hearing your voice after so long"_

_Why is she doing this? If she wants to torture me is fucking working._

_"Listen Quinn" Santana takes a deep breath. Now I know she's sitting just like me. Maybe even right against my back. "I know you hate me right know. But please try to separated things. I'm her mother, I'm losing the baby first months" Her voice craking, and it makes slightly increase this pain._

_Sadly for me, she's right._

_I need to be a grown woman and think about our baby. She needs her two moms. _

_I just can't stand the thought of seeing her just yet. _

_"I don't want to lose another month Quinn" Santana says again, apparently she is crying now. Why everything has to be like this? It hurts so much "I need to be part of all of this too" She finished after a few seconds._

_Then why the hell did she do what she did?_

_It's all her fault. _

_We could be so happy right now. Bursting with happiness and love. _

_"Please" Santana tries again and this time, I can clearly hear she's crying._

_"I know" I gain courage to say after a while. Still after everything, it seems like my body is programmed to please her. __Not please her exactly this time, because it's her right. But I really can't stand hearing her sounding so sad and broken anymore. "You'll not miss another month" I softly said. Calming these tears and trying not to sound so hopeless._

_It's time to be a little more mature. For our baby._

_"Thank you" Santana replies after long, agonizing seconds "That's all I wanted" She whispered, and I'm almost hearing her smile._

...

"So are you busy this friday?" Puck asks after minutes of silence, getting me out of my thoughts.

"Not busy really, but Rachel is coming over" I say before taking a sip from my coffee.

"Okay, well you can call me whenever you want, you know that right?" He says with a charming smile "For everything" I turn around my head to look at him when I feel his hand gabbing mine.

And this keeps happening.

"Thank you Puck" I smile back.

I know he is been throwing subtle hints at me lately, to makes me realize his real intention here.

He's looking for something more than a frienship right now. But I'm so not ready to start a new love life just yet. Let alone with Puck of all people. I mean, the guy is a sweetheart, but he doesn't make me feel anything. I don't want him in any other way than a friend. That should tell me something.

Because with Santana, everything was different.

The moment I saw her, I felt an instant connection.

Without saying how much I liked her face, her body, the way she talked, the way she talked _to me_. Her laughter, her simple and sweet gestures. And all in just one day. I think it's safe to say, I was already falling for her since the night I met her. Because after that, it took me just a few weeks to realize how badly I wanted her.

Santana was my reason for everything back then. She was the reason to my smile, the reason to my sadness, the reason to my happiness. The reason to every emotion within me.

Fuck even those four years we were apart, she was still the reason of my deepest dreams.

And I can't believe the strong hold she still has over me. After what she did, it shouldn't be that way. You can always tell your head how to feel, how to act. But heart is stubborn.

"So?" Says Puck squeezing my hand. Why is he looking at me like waiting for an answer. Perhaps he asked me something?

I didn't realize he was still holding my hand so I slowly pulled away.

"Sorry what?" Honestly I didn't heard anything, I was too busy in my head apparently.

"I asked you if you want me to walk you home?" Puck offers me with a big smile.

"Oh don't worry, we're just a couple of buildings away" And I don't know why, but his company right now is the least that I want.

"I do worry of course!" He says gentle "New York can be fucking dangerous" And I slightly laugh with his words. When he talks like this it kinda of reminds me of someone.

"Puck really, I can walk alone, you live in the opposite direction" I look at my watch to see the hour and I'm surprised to see that it's already 5:08 pm. "Oh God is pretty late"

"Yeah. But well, you're with me so you're safe" Puck smoothly says as he leaves some catch on the table. "Besides Santana is with Isabella so you don't have to worry right?"

"Yeah but still Puck" I shake my head as I put my coat.

"Let's go then, I'll walk you home" He insist and I just nod. There's no way to continue denying him that apparently.

"Okay" We both left the coffee shop and started walking to my apartment, making small and easy talk.

* * *

><p>We get off the elevator laughing at some stupid thing that Puck was telling me. He's really funny when he tries, makes me laugh a lot.<p>

But that's kind of the problem, he tries too hard.

As we walk through the hall though, I can't help but feel anxious and nervous.

Everytime I know I'll see Santana it happens. Which is totally stupid, for a lot of reasons.

"Thanks for the coffee" I say to him once we reach my door.

I can't believe I'm this nervous just for the fact that I'll see her again.

"Yeah no problem" He's looking at me like expecting something.

God don't tell me he's expecting a kiss.

I'd rather kiss a cute little puppy than those lips again. I remember well how those lips taste and feel; bitter and rough.

"See you around I guess" I give him a hug saying goodbye, his arms staying more seconds than necessary around my waist.

"Well it was my way to say congratulation"

After my interview, the first thing I was going to do was calling Rachel to say that everything went well and that they wanted me as soon as possible, but just in that moment Puck's name appeared into my phone screen and well, I took his offer to a coffee.

It was nice though. It was nice talking with him as a _friend_. Something he still doesn't get it.

"Thank you" I say sincere to him "Take care Puck"

"See you soon pretty girl" He says kissing my cheek and soon walking away to the elevator, but not before turning around for one last smile.

I just sigh and smile back.

I wish things could be easy. Puck is a good guy, and he's handsome, I should like him. I bet everything would be ten times more easy with him. It wouldn't be heartbroken involved. Besides, I kind of miss having someone next to me at nights, someone to call when something important happens or just to talk about the stupidest things.

But sadly so, I can't be with him because my heart is still hanging on someone else.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, I can't wait to throw myself in bed, I'm really tired.

In days like this, Santana would have given me a very well-deserved massage, probably putting me to sleep after that or finishing in something else. Something like sex specifically.

I unconsciously smiled, remembering her gentle hands on my body.

But it's definitely not the time to think about that. Maybe never.

Once I finally entered to my apartment, my heart warmed at the sight. It's adorable.

They are both hugging each other fast asleep in our-... my couch.

I walk towards them to wake Santana up, I'm already here so she should go back home. It's getting cold and dark outside.

Not that I care about what might happen to her, I know she can handle herself very well. But I don't like when she leaves too late from here, I'm not calm until she sends a text telling me that she has already arrived. Is our routine.

I can't bring myself to wake her up though. Despite the fact of how cute and beautiful she looks, she looks also tired, like finally resting. Maybe Bella gave her a hard time today. I hope no.

"Santana" I call her name but she doesn't move a muscle. It's always so hard to wake her up ever since I met her. It's as if she dies everytime she is asleep or something. "Santana I'm here" I say touching her shoulder, softly squeezing it.

I leave my hand there for several seconds though. I always do this when she's sleeping. She often falls asleep here with Bella in her arms. So whenever this happens, I watch her sleep and sometimes I even gently touch her, her face mostly, her cheeks. It's really creepy actually, but my body always seems to think for itself when she's near and well, sleeping.

All I feel in my fingers now is her jacket but I know under these clothes is her soft skin.

"Hey" She sleepy says after a while and I pulled away my hand, as if I was burning. "What time is it?" She asks trying to stretch but with Isabella in her chest it's kind of impossible.

"Past five I think" I casually said.

"Oh really?" She says settling better on the couch, I can't believe I still find so incredibly cute her sleepy face "So how did it go? I mean your interview" Santana asks, and she looks nervous. Why? I don't have idea.

"It went well" I said studying her "Pretty good actually" I add.

"Good" She says nodding with all her attention in Bella. "That's good Quinn, I'm really glad" I hate that I can't hate her. Why is she always so nice to me? "So what are we going to do with her?" She pass her fingers through Bella's short hair, caressing her small head.

"What do you mean?" I frown.

"Well I'm working, you're going to start working. We need to find her some good nursery. The best fucking nursery of this whole city" I smile when I heard the determination in her voice, I smiled behind her of course. I'll not let her know that she still often makes me feel thousand of things.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that" I say walking around the couch to take Bella from her, but she doesn't let me.

"Hey! I'm okay here with her" Santana says hugging her again. "We're comfy resting on each other, right my little princess?" She sweetly says to our daughter.

I wonder if she knows how sad I feel everytime the word princess escapes her lips.

"It's late, you need to go" I take Bella from her to put her in her crib. I really don't want her to walk home too late. Santana never comes here in her car, she says it would be stupid because we're really close. She's kind of right though, but I'd prefer the other way around to make sure she's safe. You never know with New York streets.

I walk with Bella in my arms and Santana following me behind.

"So..." She cautiously begin "Do you were with Rachel all day? You know... I mean, because you left the apartment early in the morning"

So that was what bothered her? That's why she was nervous, she wanted to ask me this?

Well is an acceptable question. I left early this morning and it's already five pm.

Not that I was with Puck all day. I needed to do some things as well. My things.

"And you are asking me because...?" I turn around to face her, making her stop as I arch my eyebrow.

I believe I don't owe her any explanation.

"Well, I don't know" Santana carefully studied my face "I guess I just got worried and your phone was off, where were you?"

"Worried?" I chuckle and turned around again to walk to my room.

Santana worried about me? That's funny.

"Ugh forget it Quinn" She frustrated sighs behind me. And it kinda reminds me of Bella when she's mad. "You know what, sorry but I'm not in the mood to argue today. So instead, I'll tell you what we did while you were gone"

She doesn't let me say anything because immediately starts to blurt out thousand of things that honestly, are quite interesting and funny.

I'm tired of fight all the time too. It's really tiring.

It's exhausting and frustrating. Because Santana almost never answers me anything, so it's like fighting alone.

"And you won't believe the thing she learned today" Santana commented amused as I put Isabella in her Pj. She's fast asleep, and now I understand why, they've been playing all day.

"What?"

"She knows how to makes a fish face" Santana says giggling and I can't help but smile too.

"Fish face?" I asked her while I finish changing clothes to our little girl.

How can she makes a fish face? She's only two months.

But then again, my baby girl it's really smart.

"Yeah, well more like her mouth makes something like..." She touched my shoulder to see her and I laugh when I see her mouth making some fish gesture. She's so dumb.

I think is the first time we laugh so carefree together since everything has happened. And it feels really good. Great even.

"I bet you taught her" I said amused. This sounds like something Santana would do.

"No I swear, I didn't teach her that. She just discovered for herself" Santana quickly adds giggling.

Why we can't be always like this? Always laughing and talking like normal humans being.

Maybe I need to focus this pain and rage on something else.

"If you say so" I softly say once our laughs die.

I turn around once I settle Bella in her crib and I found Santana's eyes already looking at me with a small smile, but that intense look, that intense look she is giving me is saying something. Something I'm not sure I'm ready to face.

I look to the side immediately.

Her eyes were always one of my weakness when it comes to her. Just one_ right_ look from those brown eyes and I'm at her feet. Completely at her mercy.

"I missed the sound of your laugh" Santana whispered, analizing my whole face with some pinch of affection behind.

Somehow the weight of her words and gaze caused a fire within me. A fire where I'm supposed to feel ice.

And it makes me blush. Now Santana will see my blush and she'll laugh at me. Laughing at my stupidity. Why the hell I'm blushing anyway?! It wasn't even a compliment.

I bit my lip as I turned around my head to see her again, and it's a bad idea.

"Quinn I..." She takes a step forward, relatively close to me. I can already smell her intoxicating perfume. What is she doing? Why is she approaching? I mean we're still about two feets away, but it's still close. This is the closer we've been for months. "I..." she pauses again, and finally breaking eye-contact with me closing her own eyes, taken a deep breath "I just..." I gasp when I feel her soft hand taking mine.

Jeez I shouldn't feel this overwhelming feeling for just touching her hand. But I feel it. I feel it in every inch of my body "There are so many things I want to tell you" Santana's eyes opens again and she takes my hand with her both hands, softly caressing me with her thumb, almost too soft.

Is she playing with me?

Why is she doing this? And why I can't bring myself to pull away.

I know she's just stroking my hand, a simple and common sweet gesture.

But she's hurting me. With each touch of her thumb over my hand.

"Santana don't" I whispered, not quite ready to meet her eyes.

"Quinn please just let me expl-"

"Santana" I say her name again, wanting to warn her, but not sounding quite convinced.

Also, I can't pull my hand away from her, I just can't. There's a voice screaming inside my head telling me to pull away, but it seems like my heart thinks otherwise.

I shouldn't let her hold my hand. I really shouldn't.

"I don't want the divorce" Santana firmly whispered after a while. "I don't fucking care if we're not together right now. Because no matter what happened or what will happen" She takes a deep breathe, looking me intently and looking for something in my eyes too. I know those brown eyes, she isn't sure if it's alright to say what she is going to say. Which scares me because everytime she gives me that look something big escapes her lips, and right now I don't think I'm ready to listen whatever she has to say. I just want her to go, and at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want her to never leave this apartment "I love you" My eyes gets big and the beatings of my heart quickens. She can't possibly be serious "I love you Quinn. And I'll love you forever" Santana finished with her voice cracking.

_I love you?_

I love_ you_?

She doesn't get to say those words to me anymore.

I meet her eyes, trying not to cry.

She is so fucking selfish. So fucking heartless.

She can't say those three words after everything.

Santana can't say those words like they're true because an 'I love you' coming from her lips now, is everything but true.

I'm not broken enough for her? She wants to destroy me now?

Her eyes keeps looking at me, hoping for something, for anything.

But she's a fucking idiot if she thinks I will believe her words.

"Get out" I whispered turning around my head.

Santana slowly pulls away her soft hands from me. Touching with her fingers my hand until it's completely away.

"I meant it. I do love you" Santana says again, assuring me.

Who the fuck does she think she is?

I can't let her keep hurting me. I had enough.

"Quinn please just let me show you that I lo-"

"I say get out!" I yelled pushing her backwards as a single tear falls down her eye. I can't endure this situation anymore "Don't ever say that to me again, ever" I manage to say with a weak voice, almost whispering.

It's painfully funny, years ago I was dying to hear her saying those words. Now I can't stand it.

Turns of life I guess.

She stand still, watching me.

Is she expecting me to do or say something? Because I won't.

"Please go Santana" I turned around my body, giving her my back. Showing her the hint that I really don't want to have this conversation with her right now. Maybe not ever.

I hear her sniff through her nose muttering a really soft 'Okay'

And after a few more seconds, she turns around to leave.

It's not until I heard the main door closing that I let myself cry.

Why does she keeps hurting me?

I sit on my bed while silent tears falls down my cheeks.

I don't even have strength left to properly cry.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'll start to update one chapter per week. Because I'm still really busy but you guys were so impatient for this story so I started to write it. And I haven't forget about my other fic so don't worry. ** I know you have many questions about this so far, but they will be solved as the story unfolds. For now enjoy the chapters and tell me what you think about it.****


	3. Chapter 3

Santana POV

Broken. Empty. Devastated.

Those words don't even get close to how I feel. They're small words, really small.

How my life turned into this hell? I was the happiest woman alive. Now I'm not truly living.

I haven't seen Quinn in two days. Not since I dropped the bomb saying 'I love you'. I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed her to believe me, I'm still crazy in love with her. Even more now since she gave birth to my daughter.

I love Quinn, I love Isabella. I love them with every single fiber of my body and heart. They're my life. But sadly, I can't show all my love to them. To Quinn specifically. She doesn't even let me say to her more than five words everytime we see each other. And it fucking hurts.

But with Isabella is completely different. She makes me forget a little the deep pain I feel everytime I see Quinn. She's my light in the darkness. Nonetheless, I miss her mother like crazy. I'm going insane without Quinn.

_Flashback_

_"Babe, we need to find a name for our kid. He can't born and not have a name already" I say to Quinn kissing her forehead and she chuckles._

_"Who says is a boy?" She lifted her head from my chest with a subtle smirk that makes me want to jump on her again "I'm almost one hundred percent sure is a girl" She leans down to kiss me on the lips._

_My lips that by the way, must be all swollen because of all the biting she gave me just minutes ago in one of our rounds._

_She has been insatiable lately, must be her hormones, but I'm not complaining for sure. If it were up to me, I'd make love to her 24/7. I just love to be with her in all intimate way possibles. __Besides she feels so fucking good._

_My heart, my sould, my body and of course my dick loves Quinn. All of me loves Quinn._

_We pulled away and stared lovingly into each other's eyes, her freaking gorgeous hazel eyes __"I love you babe" I whispered against her cute nose, because now she's nuzzling her nose in every single part of my face. She's so adorable._

_"I love you too" Quinn's says as she lifted up her face from mine, looking down at me "We need to finish some details for the reception San. Our wedding date it's around the corner" _

_"I know" I hugged her tight by her slim waist and turned us over. She gives me a mischievous smile "But first" I lean down to briefly touch her lips with mine. I just can't have her this close and not doing it "We need to find to our little boy or girl a name" _She playful rolled her eyes.__

_"Okaaay, we have about eight months to do that, but if you want to do it _right now_, I guess I don't have any other option" Quinn smile to let me know she's kidding. __I'm the luckiest person alive right now. Everyone would kill to have this girl with them. But she's mine. She'll be my future wife. No one else._

_"Okay first, if is a boy, I want him to be named..." I look down at her and she arch an eyebrow, how fucking sexy is that? "I want him to be named Nicholas" I add and Quinn immediately frowns._

_"No way Santana, we're not named our kid after the most common name in the whole world"_

_"That's not common at all!" I fight back. "It's a pretty name, I like it"_

_"Okay whatever, it doesn't matter because as I said before, I'm sure she's a girl" Her eyes light up a little bit and it's fascinating "I can feel it"_

__I slightly laugh _"How?, you can feel if it's growing a vagina or a penis inside of you?" I asked amused and she slaps my arm._

_"That's not what I mean Santana" Quinn says serious but I can see the smile threatening to appear in her pretty face._

_"Okay, okay sorry" I lean down to kiss her pout away "Let's say you're right then..."_

_"I am right" She adds triumphant._

_"Alright, you first. How do you want to name our daughter?" I peck her lips once again. I just adore those soft lips._

_"Isabella, I love that name" Quinn gives me a bright smile before continued "We could call her Isa or Bella for short"_

_Well that's a pretty good name. I like it a lot._

_Though I have to say for my side, I'm sure is a boy._

_"I agree with you on that one. I like Isabella"_

_"Really?" Quinn says frowning "That easy?"_

_"Yeah, I like it" I shrug "Isabella Fabray-Lopez. A beautiful name, just like her mother" I cocky said looking deep into those eyes with a small smirk._

_"Well thank you" Quinn reply smiling from ear to ear._

_"I was talking about me but well, you are beautiful too" I joke and she slaps my arm again. _

_"Hey!" Quinn says unaffected._

_"Okay, let's agree on a name for a boy now"_

_"I told you! she's a girl" She says convincing "I'm sure of it" Quinn's face changes to a michevious one and I know perfectly to where this is going. And I'm so ready for it "Perhaps we should waste this time doing other things, don't you think?" She husky says spreading her legs for me. Fuck_

_Just one look and smooth talk from her and my dick is already getting hard again._

_"I love that idea" I said before lovingly kiss her._

I smile, sadly remembering her.

What happened in our wedding night... what happened was a whole different story. I don't even fucking know what really happened. And it's so damn frustrating, It's stupid not to know what really went down. The last thing I remember about that ghastly night, was telling Brittany that I didn't want to drink any alcohol while she was still offering me a drink that at the end, I accepted it. After that, everything is blurry.

And so, I couldn't give Quinn a straight explanation. How could I? I still don't fucking know why I did it. All I know it's that I woke up next morning with Brittany naked next to me. It's as if someone had erased my memory of that night.

I'm not a fucking moron. I know Brittany had something to do with that. I've been demanding answers from her ever since that day. But every time I ask her she just says 'We slept together, get over it'.

I know me. I know I would never cheat on Quinn. Much less in our damn wedding night.

Who would even do that? It's sick.

But how convince her when _I_ don't even have clear that night in my head.

I've tried though, I've tried tell her what really happened, telling her the truth, that I really don't remember well what I did in that room but that I would never cheat on her. I've tried in two occasions. But Quinn always laughs saying that I need to find a better excuse.

_Flashback_

_"I swear to God Quinn, please believe me" I stand up from the couch holding back the tears. This is the second time I try to talk about this but she still doesn't believe me._

_"What the hell do you want me to believe? You just say once again that you don't remember what happened" Quinn replies, frustrated hugging her stomach, hugging our little baby who is already six months. _

_I can not stand this situation another second, every day without her is like hell. It's like dying slowly._

_I'm desperate. __But I can't lie to her either. _

_"Because it's the fucking true!" I say walking closer to Quinn "I really don't remember what happened babe. But I know I would never cheat on you" She shakes her head with a chuckle and then, a few tears falls down her eyes. I fucking hate me right now._

_"Just listen to yourself Santana" Quinn whispered, taking a step back from me. "I saw you naked in our bed with that bitch, how do you want me to believe you? Plus you are not even explaining anything here, the only thing you do is say over and over again that you don't remember anything because apparently, you were drunk" She finished with her voice cracking._

_Maybe the fact that it was Brittany, makes things a lot more complicated. She was always so insecure about my relationship with her. __And I never understood why. She is my only love._

_"Princess, I really don't-"_

_"Don't fucking call me princess Santana" She turns around her head to look at me, her eyes shining with tears __causing a deep pain, even deeper knowing that those tears are my fault __"This is the last time I want you to talk about what happened" She firmly says, again walking pass me and sitting on her couch "If you don't have your lie well-planned, then don't say anything" Quinn adds taking a breath and wiping her tears "Now please go" She says with determination in her voice, and her eyes staring at me in a way that she had never done before, reflecting pain and disappointed. And something a lot, a lot more deep._

_This fucking sucks, why everything has to be so complicated for us, or more like impossible. It's impossible to be happy with her for too long._

_"This isn't over Quinn, you know it" I say before walking towards the door. I can't stand her looking at me like that, much least hearing her so broken because of me._

_But I'll keep trying. I'll always try for her._

And I've tried, I've tried_ e_verything these past few months. But she ignores me every time I go to her apartment, that by the way, was supposed to be _our_ apartment. It was supposed to be our new start.

This is so fucked up.

"Santana" Lilly my new secretary entered my office "The boss send you this. A new case" She puts the documents in my desk, making sure to lean down way too much to show me her voluptuous cleavage.

She has been practically throwing herself at me since she got here. Lilly is a really hot young woman, a pretty blonde. But I can't bring myself to look at other girls. I just can't.

Since Quinn and I broke up, which was almost nine months ago, I have slept with just one woman. It was a stupid night where I got drunk in a bar and well, she was right there to help me fill the emptiness. I didn't even enjoyed it though. More like pleasure, I felt like I was into some kind of torture, because Quinn's face was always in my mind. It wasn't the body I wanted to be touching, those wasn't the eyes I wanted to be looking at.

So yeah, I'm not sleeping again with someone else anytime soon.

"Thank you Lilly, but I'll check those papers tomorrow, I'll leave earlier today"

I gave Quinn time enough to cool off already. Two days without seeing my Bella is too much for me.

"Oh, And what for if I may I ask?" She gives me a subtle smirk, showing playfulness in her voice.

No, she can't ask.

"What I do outside this office it's my personal life, okay?" I softly told her, establishing the boundaries she seems to forget lately.

Lily blush and nods, with some kind of embarrassment "Okay sorry"

Ugh now I feel kind of bad. But I'm right, she needs to know her position here.

"See you on monday" she says before giving me a small smile and turning around to leave my office.

"See you"

The moment she closed the door I began to get ready to leave this fucking building to go see my ladies.

Can't wait to see those beautiful faces already. Though Bella is the only one who gets excited when she sees me.

* * *

><p>I nervously knocked on the door hoping for the best. Quinn gets so fucking crazy when she's mad. And I know she has the right to be. Maybe saying 'I love you' the other day wasn't wise of my part. But she needs to know it. She really needs to know that, no matter what happen, my feelings for her will always be the same, stronger even.<p>

After a few seconds I hear footsteps coming from the inside and I get nervous. But that nervousness quickly goes away when I also hear voices. Who the hell is in here?

The door handle turns around and the door opens.

"Santana" Quinn's perfect face shows surprise. "I..." She turns around her head avoiding my eyes "I didn't know you were coming?" I don't know if she asked me that or she just said it, but her adorable frown makes me believe that she asked me.

Quinn keeps looking so incredibly cute when she's nervous.

"Is it the food Quinn?" A man's voice comes from the inside. And I fucking know that stupid voice very well. "Oh Santana" Puck says looking at me, frowning too. As if it were so strange seeing me here, why are they so fucking surprised? My daughter lives here, my wife lives here. Of course that I will be here, always.

What is he doing here anyway?

"What are you doing here, _Puck_?" I look at him dead in the eyes. I still don't like this boy at all. Ever since he tried to make his move with Quinn.

"Well I-" He doesn't finish his sentence.

"Who is it guys?" Ugh Great.

Just fucking great.

"Rachel Barbara Berry, Hi" I sarcastically said to her once she shows her big face in the door.

When things went down with Quinn months ago, the first thing I knew was Rachel Berry knocking on the door of my old apartment to insulting me, basically. Because of course, despite the fact the we both Quinn and I paid for this damn apartment we couldn't live together. So I just started to bring all my things back to my apartment that luckily was just a few buildings away from the new one. And so the first day when I was on my way to get wasted, Rachel showed her face to say some nice things to me.

"Santana Lopez, hi" She imitates my tone.

I turn around my head to see Quinn and she looks really uncomfortable. It makes me want to wrap her in my arms.

"Can I come in?" I ask Quinn and she meet my eyes.

Every time we look into each other's eyes keeps happening. I feel that same connection we used to share. The same warm and nice feeling. Everytime I look into those hazel eyes I feel this strong need to make things right again. But I can't. I can't if she doesn't let me.

She nods entering the apartment with Puck following behind. Rachel however, keeps looking at me as if she were ready to kill me. I understand though, I must look like the biggest asshole to them.

"Excuse me" I say to her as I pass by her side.

At least seeing her here relieves me somehow. I thought Puck was alone here with Quinn. First time in so long that I find Rachel's presence so accurate.

"Isabella is sleeping in my room" Quinn says as she sits down with them in the couch, talking and ignoring my presence.

As if I give a shit about it. Well Quinn ignoring me feels completely different. But I'll not think about it for now, today I'm just here for my baby girl.

I ignore all of them too and walked straight to Quinn's room. I really missed this little princess these two days. But I needed to give Quinn some space. It wasn't a good idea telling her I love you after all. Another stupid things that didn't went well.

I entered the room and there she is. my gorgeous girl in a deep sleep. I walked straight towards the crib and looked down at her. She's so damn cute.

"Hey cutie" I give her a kiss in her cheek as I lifted her small body with me, I just couldn't resist the urge to hold her. She immediately looks at me frowning, like getting mad at me for waking her up "You're mad at me just like your mom huh?" I softly whispered walking to Quinn's bed and sitting, she keeps staring up at me with her gorgeous hazel eyes "I'm sorry I haven't been here these last two days Bella" I kiss her forehead and she smiles now, a radiant smile. Apparently she accepted my apologies.

She's so beautiful. So damn beautiful. Well she looks just like Quinn, so it's understandable.

"You're really pretty baby girl" I said to her, gently touching her face with my fingers and she grabs one of them with a big grin. "Hey, you wanna play with me?" I ask her but she then started to slowly close her eyes and I can't help but laugh "Oh really? Already bored with me?" She opens her eyes once again to give me one last look before closing them again.

I settle better on bed putting Bella next to me. I've readed that babies at her age are always sleeping and always with hungry.

"Time to sleep it is then. You're the boss here" I kissed her cheek while settling better on bed to lay next to her.

This damn bed smell just like Quinn, her unique perfume and scent. It's fascinating and freaking sad. I buried my face in her pillow to feel her close somehow, with me. And so putting an arm around Bella, I slowly closed my eyes too.

* * *

><p><em>"We're getting married" She tells me with a bright smile. Looking fucking happy with his gross arm around her waist and <em>_showing me her hand with a ring in her finger._

_I feel like throwing up. She can't do this to me._

_"Why?" I whispered. Why is she doing this? "What about us?" I hopeless asked._

_And she laughs, she laughs in my face._

_"What about us?" She stares at me with a smirk "You cheated on me years ago Santana. In our wedding night if I may add" She replies unaffected._

_"You know it wasn't my fault Quinn. Please don't do this" I beg. __She turns around her head to look at him with shining eyes, looking at him like no one else but him matters. Looking at him how she used to look at me._

_And my heart breaks once again, because she's happy. I know she's happy._

_"I'm sorry Santana, but I redid my life, and honestly I think I've never been this happy before. So I guess I need to thank you" Quinn says with a grin, sounding so satisfied with all this shitty situation._

_This is a fucking nightmare._

_"Why him?" I ask without strenght left._

_"Well, Puck was with me when you were not. He was by my side when I needed someone and so, it just happened" Quinn looks up at him lovingly giving her a short kiss._

_This is unbelievable._

_Fucking lucky bastard. _

_Fucking asshole._

_Fucking stupid Puck._

_I'll kill him. They're not going to get married. Not as long as I breathe._

_Rage begins to take over my body as I imagine myself killing him in all way possible. __Those rough and nasty hands are not going to touch my woman any time soon. I'll fucking kill him first._

_So in a matter of seconds I threw myself at Puck giving him a well deserved kick right in his crotch. So hard that I'm almost feeling his pain._

_"Santana!" Quinn says grabbing my shoulder just when I was about to kick him again. "Santana!"_

_That dick of him it's not going to touch Quinn in the coming days. Hopefully never._

_"Santana"_

"Santana" I abruptly wake up when I hear her soft voice calling my name. I take a deep breath as I look at her worried face. Thank god it was just a bad dream "Are you okay?" She asks me with her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine" I inhale some fresh air while sitting on bed. Fuck what a shitty dream, it felt so real. Even the ache I was feeling in my heart, I'm still feeling it.

I look to the side and I see Bella still fast asleep with a small smile planted on her lips. At least her dream is way better than mine.

"You were moving a lot and I thought you were having a nightmare?" She asked genuinely intrigued, softly massaging my shoulder with her delicate fingers. That feels really nice. It gives me some funny feelings in my stomach even. It gives me a nice warm in my heart and some sparks in my body.

Why is she acting so nice? Not that I'm complaining, I'm loving it actually. It's been so long since the last time she was truly interested in whatever that has to do with me. So this feels really great, even more after what I was dreaming.

But then she seems to realize what she is doing and pulls away her hand.

I heavily sigh, so much for being nice.

"Yeah, a fucking nightmare" I said standing up rubbing my eyes "What time is it?" I ask Quinn while she lay next to Isabella, just where I were seconds ago.

"I don't know, past nine I think" She says yawning, kissing Bella's forehead. She looks so cute. They both looks cute. "It's really late Santana, you should go" Quinn adds resting her head on the pillow. She seems tired.

I could give her a massage if she wants? It would be really nice feel her body again. To just touch her soft skin.

"Is Puck still here?" I can't help but ask. Quinn gives me a confused look.

"No, he is not here, why?" She support herself on her elbows looking straight into my eyes. That shouldn't be so fucking sexy.

"Just asking" I shrug, but she frowns not quite convinced with my answer.

"Kurt called me, said he needed to talk to you" Quinn says sitting on bed and taking off her shoes. "You should go see him, you live near him aren't you?"

"Yeah, just a couple of buildings away" I watch her as she fight with one shoe that doesn't want to get off her feet, slightly wrinkled her face. Adorable. How I love this woman.

"By the way, my car keys are behind the main door. You should drive to your apartment, it's really late" She casually says once she finally get ride of her shoe.

Is she offering me her car because she's afraid that something might happen to me? Is she worried?

Well what else could be.

A big smile arrives on my face.

If she's worried, it's because she still cares about me, right?

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Quinn sweetly asks me when she realizes I've been staring.

"Nothing much" I keep looking at her like a fool and she shakes her head.

"Okay go then. Are you coming tomorrow?" She asked taking her pajamas from under the pillow.

"Of course, you know I come here every day"

"Well not these last two days" Quinn looks to side, avoiding my gaze and looking at Bella, gently touching her stomach with her fingers.

"You know why I didn't come" I reply her and her eyes meet mine once again. Giving me a knowing nod with a straight line of her sweet lips. She knows why I didn't come.

"Before I forget" She begins, quickly changing the subject "Rachel's show is opening tomorrow and I'm going to see it with Puck, could you watch over Bella for a while?" What now? Did she just say fucking Puck?

"With Puck?" I ask frowning.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're seeing him a lot lately" I commented, wanting to know more. Wanting to know why the hell Puck is again chasing my woman.

"And so?" she asks defensively "I don't say anything about all the girls you must be taken home everyday" Quinn bitterly adds, with something behind those eyes.

I don't fucking bring girls to my apartment. I haven't had sex in months!

But why is she doing that comparison anyway?

"So you're seeing him in that kind of way?" She sighs.

"I'm not seeing him in any _kind of way_ Santana" Quinn says with irony "But if I do, it's none of your business"

_If_ I do?

So she is planning on seeing him in that way?

"Do you like him or something?" I ask her directly, but I'm not so sure if I want to know the answer. I mean she can't like him right? What about her love for me? Or the love she used to have for me.

You can't stop loving someone overnight.

"I'll not answer that Santana, just go" Ugh why she can't answer now? It's just a stupid question with two possible answers.

"Just answer Quinn!" I'm losing patience and insecurity begins to emerge.

"Shut up" She turns around to look at Bella, checking on her after the racier of my voice "I don't owe you any explanation anymore" She turns around towards me again, giving me a challenging stare.

"It's just a question, just answer me. Do you like him?" I nervously asked again, this time a little more calm.

But, I mean, Puck? I bet he doesn't even knows how to properly talk to her. She belongs with me, I love her, no one else will love her as much as I do. What about us? we have a daughter together, our story is still writing. So no, she can't like him.

But she didn't answer me right away and I start to freak out.

Please say no.

Please say no babe, you can't like him.

"I think I could like him" She whispered after a long pause.

And I close my eyes as I let her words wrings my heart.

Can a heart break over and over again? Because I think there is nothing left already.

With those words, I lose some hope that was beginning to emerge within me. Quinn is determined to start a new life apparently. She is forgetting us, forgetting me.

If she would only feel a quarter of what I feel for her, she would be with me now.

But apparently, the love she used to have for me, died that night.

I nod my head after a couple of seconds and leave the room. I don't want to be here anymore. I will not use her fucking car either. I'll go straight to a bar to get drunk, trying to forget about how I slowly lose the love of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Some Quinntana love is coming! I think in the next chapter so don't worry. Leave a review ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

Santana POV

I can't believe it. This seems like just a bad joke or a well-planned nightmare in this shitty world I'm living in. After every fucking thing we've been through she's willing to start all over again? After everything?

What about all those nights we cried over each other, those nights where the only thing I could think about was die if I could never have her. What about those days where everything seemed dark. What about all those days and nights where her heart was craving mine as much as my heart was craving hers. It wasn't worth it at the end? It wasn't worth all the pain, all that deep ache in our hearts, all the tears?

And what about love?

What about all those thousand of sweet kisses we gave each other; all those long nights talking and laughing and unforgettable moments. All those shared secrets, the sweet words we used to whispered to each other; what about those long nights making love? lingering gazes. Those gentle and soft touches. What about averything?

Does she wants to have that now with someone else, someone who isn't me?

She's willing to share that now with Puck? I mean, fucking Puck?

Why the hell him? Puck it's just... he's short, useless, ugly, gross, stupid, always smelling like men hormones; and that's just to mention a few of his characteristics. I know I thought at one point that he was better than me for Quinn, for a lot of reasons, but not anymore. I know now, that no one else is better for her than me. No one will love her like I do or care about her like I do, less Puck. He was always chasing after Quinn, trying to get into her pants, and now too apparently, that's all he wants nowadays. But I'm not going to let him. He's not going to get close to Quinn, in any fucking way. If I keep seeing him trying to do something I'll have a very serious conversation with that douchebag. She's already taken, she's mine.

I know all the fights lately, all Quinn nasty comments towards me are because of what she thinks I did. I just have to prove to her that I didn't do anything. Or at least that's what I think. Brittany it's now in Paris, attending a business trip or some bullshit. Everytime I call her she still doesn't want to say anything to me about that night, she keeps just saying that we slept together. But I really don't think so. All I need to do now is find a way to figure out all of this, and fast. I want my woman back. I want her back before she forget me completely.

What calms me though, is that she said she _could_ like him. That means she doesn't like him just yet.

Quinn can say whatever she wants, she can say to me the most painful things, but her eyes however, says otherwise. I know her eyes better than I know myself. After all these years I think I know how to read Quinn, kind of. If it were to judge that deep gaze she gives me sometimes, I'd say that she still feels something about me.

My phone starts ringing again and I looked at it, hoping to see her name on the screen but again, is just Kurt.

I sigh before taking the call. What the hell does he want?

"What Kurt?" I cranky answer while murmuring to the driver to drive as fast as possible to any damn bar. It's Friday, I'm sad, and a little alcohol in my veins sounds awesome.

_"Hello to you too Miss"_ He says imitating my tone, I'm almost seeing him rolling his eyes.

"I really don't want to talk right now Kurt" I say a little more calmer "You're impeding me to get to my destination faster"

_"Neither do I. I don't want to talk"_ He says sighing and that's striking because he is always happy _"I had a big fight with Blaine and the first person that came to my mind was you. You're the only one that would take a drink with me so, where are you?" _Ironies of life.

"Should I be honored that I'm some type of alcoholic to you?" I joke

_"You should!"_ He says with a playful tone.

"We're both feeling like shit then. I'm precisely on my way to a bar gayman" And just when the taxi bow in the corner, I see one. Fantastic.

_"Okay, send me a message with the address"_ He says with authority before ending the call. What the hell is his problem?

Well at least I'll have a partner.

* * *

><p>"And don't even make me start with his bathroom accessories, they're everywhere!" He exclaims with his hands, making a grimace. "And my birthday it's in less than a week! He still hasn't asked me what I want" I chuckle while shaking my head, he's so childish.<p>

The worst thing I could have done was accept Kurt's call.

I haven't even had a single drink, he's really fucking drunk and talking nonsense. Besides he arrived here driving so now I'll have to take care of him. Fucking awesome.

"You see that blond boy over there?" Kurt drunkenly asked me, pointing to a table on the corner. I just sigh looking in that direction. This wasn't what I signed for. Tonight, after the conversation I had with Quinn the only thing I wanted was get drunk, I still want to actually, but now I can't.

"What about?" I asked before taking a sip of water.

"He's been looking my way the whole night" Ugh great, time for some horny Kurt now. I arched an eyebrow as I looked back at him.

"So?" I asked and he just keeps looking at this guy with a flirtatious smile.

"Well maybe-" I cut him.

"Okay stop right there Kurt" I apply my serious face and tone "Don't do something you'll regret later, don't be stupid" I softly finished. I know how that feels first hand. It fucking sucks.

"He deserves it" Kurt angrily says, drinking in one sip her whisky. Damn this little man really knows how to handle his drinks. The rage on his eyes tells me that he really is mad at Blaine right now.

"Listen to yourself" I try to reason with him, I don't want Kurt to make a mistake "Dude you're just upset, you really don't want to do it" I take the bottle off his hand when he was about to put more liquid on her glass. I think he had enough.

"Maybe I do want to do it" Yeah sure, he's so in love with Blaine that it's almost funny. They're genuinely in love and happy.

I wish I could have their luck.

"Okay, just look at me for a second, look to where one big mistake has left me" I try again and he looked up at me.

"It's not the same" He's so damn stubborn. "It wasn't even your fault Santana" I sighed rubbing my eyes.

Well maybe not, but it was still a mistake.

I feel my phone vibrate inside my pocket and I pulled it out. My eyes gets fucking big when I see Quinn's name on the screen. Why is she calling this late? It's almost 1:00 am. To say sorry or something?

I stand up telling Kurt that I need to take this call and he just nods. I quickly walked away from there and once I reached the exist, I answered.

"Quinn?" I stupidly ask. Of course it's her, I have ID.

_"Santana I need you to come here"_ Her sweet voice sounds really worried and that scares me.

"What happened? Is Bella okay? Are you okay?" I quickly asked.

_"I... yeah kind of. I was going to call you tomorrow to take Bella to the doctor and-"_

"To the doctor? Why?" Why does my baby needs a doctor?

_"Because she catched a cold the other night, that's why"_ She sharply answers me. _"I was going to take her tomorrow but-"_

"Why you didn't tell me then Quinn, she's my daughter too" I walk further into the street to get away from the noise.

_"Could you please let me finish?"_ She says without patience and I just nod, as if she were about to see me _"Of course I was going to tell you, my intention was calling you tomorrow but I'm calling you now because I think we need to take her to the hospital now. She's been sneezing and coughing for hours and I'm worried"_ Crap.

"Sure, of course I'll be there in five minutes" I hear her sighing before listening to one of Bella's sneezes. Well she sounds sick.

_"Okay thank you," _And with that she end the call.

Fuck why she didn't tell me before? We could have taken her early this afternoon.

I quickly headed to the bar to find Kurt, sorry for him but I need to go. As fast as possible, my girls are waiting for me.

I see him from afar and walked towards there, almost running "Hey" I say once I reach our spot "I need to go Kurt, sorry" He looks at me with puppy eyes and frowning.

"Why?"

"Bella is sick and we're going to take her to see a doctor" I take one last sip of water before putting my jacket back on and pulling out some cash from my pocket.

"Oh, is she okay?" Kurt asked concerned.

"Yeah I think so, just a cold" He nods and then frowns when she sees me leave on the table a lot of cash "Give me your car keys, I need to get there fast and you can't even drive in that condition so just take a cab" I say in a rush.

Kurt shakes his head with a small smile "Okay just go" He says standing up, guess he's leaving too. Well that's good. He took his keys from his pocket and gave them to me "You're right, but I do this for little Bella not for you" Kurt jokes with a drunk smile.

"Whatever, see you later" I give him a pat on his shoulder and started to walk away.

"Call me to know how is she!" Kurt shouted after me and I just lifted up my thumb, walking as fast as possible.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"So taken those pills twice at day, she should get better in a week or so" Doctor Miller tells Quinn as she listen intently.

Thank god Bella had just a cold, normal for this time of year where colds for babies are as normal as the sun rising.

The doctor injected Isabella something to relieve a little her cough and she slept with a small smile a little while later, she was tired apparently, poor baby. Now Quinn just has to take some pills to transfer the medicine through the milk and everything will be better.

I look down at my little girl, who keeps peaceful sleeping. "You'll not leave the apartment Bella, not until your cold is gone" I softly whispered just to her before kissing her cheek. I'll not let this happen again, she is still so baby and fragile.

"Thanks doctor" Quinn says smiling.

"Don't worry, as I said before it's something really normal, babies at her age are really vulnerables and things like this happens. Just call me if anything happens okay?" He finished with a kind smile. His formal tone and his sixties years or more makes him look expert on the subject.

"I will, thank you" Doctor Miller goes after a few seconds and Quinn turns around to look at us, sighing in relief.

"She's already far away dreaming" I commented and she nods.

"I can see" Quinn gets closer, staring lovingly at Bella while stroking her face with her delicate fingers. Is it normal to feel jealous of my daughter? Because I'd kill to feel those soft hands caressing my skin again "Let's go then" She lifted her head to give me a small smile, that same smile that keeps having a strong effect on me "We need to arrive to our apartment as soon as possible, right baby?" Quinn takes Bella from my arms and she quickly starts to walk away.

I unconsciously looked down at her so nice butt before starting to follow her, ignoring the warm feeling she gives me in all my body. My crotch mostly.

* * *

><p>"Open the door please" She says gesturing to her bag with her pretty eyes. My baby girl is still in a deep sleep, probably till tomorrow said the doctor. At least she's finally getting some rest.<p>

I put my hand into her purse to find the keys through all her lady things, this allows me to get a little bit closer to Quinn and enjoy her scent, how I wish I could just hug her or kiss her, feel the warm of her body next to mine. I miss her so badly, I need to do something soon to stop this distance between us that only seems to grow with time, otherwise I'll go crazy.

Once I find the damn keys, I immediately put it in the door lock.

"Hurry up San" Quinn softly says after a while. I bet she doesn't have idea the things I feel with her just saying that short nickname. It might means that at least she isn't mad at me anymore? "It's freezing" She whispered next to me, hugging Bella who is with like three blankets on her and my jacket.

"Okay get in" I opened the door for them and Quinn quickly entered the apartment walking straight to her dorm.

I for my part, headed straight to the kitchen to make some coffee to warm up our bodies.

So I began to heat some water and then I walked towards Quinn's room, it's pretty fucking late so I guess after that coffee I'm out of here. It would be great to stay though, I'm tired too, but Quinn wouldn't let me stay even if I were dying.

Once I reach her bedroom I support myself on the doorframe, looking at her as she looks down at Bella who is still sleeping on her crib, I'd love to just walk towards them and feel like a real family. Walk towards Quinn, hugging her waist and whispering in her ear that it's time to sleep before kissing her. But I can't do that, I can't do the most simple things with them, and all because of me.

At least she hasn't talked about the divorce again.

"What are you doing standing there Santana?" Quinn asked me looking behind her shoulder, and I can almost see a smile on her face, almost.

"Nothing" I shake my head, getting back to reality and walking towards them "I'm making some coffee, are you still cold?" I asked standing next to her now and she keeps looking down at our daughter.

"I think I will sleep with her tonight, it's really cold and I don't want to be away from her, you know, in any case" She ignores my question, deep in thoughts apparently. Quinn is a really good mother, the best mom I've ever seen. Always taken care of the most little things so that way our daughter can be safe and happy. Is indeed fascinating to see her.

Quinn lifted up her face after a while to look at me, I haven't even realize of how fucking close we are until now. I look straight into her hazel eyes and she does the same. Her eyes has always been so mesmerizing at nights, mysterious, spellbinding. Well they always looks beautiful, day and night. All of her it's so perfect. Her lips, cheeks, nose. She really looks like a princess, beyond reality.

I catch her eyes in a brief look gazing at my lips, softly capturing her bottom lip between her white teeth. Fuck this is a torture. I just have to lean a little more to feel her sweet mouth on mine, but she quickly turned around her head looking at Bella again. Supporting her weight with her left hand on the crib.

She seems to be out of her now.

"Yes, it's really cold" I softly commented and she just nods.

I looked down at her hand resting on the thick timber and I can't help but smile. If one thing really gives me hope and keeps my heart beating here, it's her ring still on her finger. Despite everything that has happened, we still wear our marriage rings. And it's fucking comforting.

I lifted up my own left hand, with the ring on my finger, taking a risk and placing it over hers, intertwined our fingers. I just can't take this need to touch her anymore, in ways that just lovers do. I hear her sigh, but luckily, she doesn't slap me or pull her hand away. So I lean my body a little bit closer to her, standing right behind her and putting my other hand around her waist. I'm sure I felt her leaning her weight on me and tightened the hold on our joined hands, but everything it's so unreal to know what it's true or not anymore. I just close my eyes, enjoying our proximity. My front is touching all her back, every inch.

It's been so fucking long since the last time I had her this close to me. Almost nine months to be exact. But it felt like nine years.

After a while, I feel her left hand over mine, over my left hand that it's still on her waist. "What are you doing?" She weakly whispered, with the intention of protest I guess, but the only thing she does, is grabbing my hand and hugging herself tighter with my arm. A strong feeling starts to take over my whole body. It's overwhelming.

I lifted up my right hand, slowly guiding it to her face, she is with her eyes closed. I touch her cheek, softly caressing her skin with my thumb. "Quinn" I whispered her name against her cheek, just before giving her a long kiss there. She sighs when I leave my lips resting on her soft skin for long seconds, before kissing her again.

I lean further bringing her face towards me, she doesn't do or say anything. So I slowly lean in, giving her time to lean back, but she doesn't. I close the distance between us, finally, finally feeling her lips on mine again. We both sighed into each other mouths at the soft and familiar contact. God how I missed this. We start to slowly move our lips against each other, slow, but with an incredible passion burning within us. I captured her bottom lip in between mine, receiving a soft whimper in response. She touches my lips with her sweet tongue and I part them immediately, this time, it's my turn to blurt out a heavy sigh when I feel our tongues play with each other.

This is amazing.

Quinn turns around for a better angle and begins to kiss me with more passion, more feelings into it and more rushed as her soft hands grabs my face. I kiss her back with the same force, hugging her completely with my arms. Damn why we had to wait so long for this.

After several seconds we pulled away from each other's mouth, breathing deeply. That easily felt like a dream come true. It felt like coming back home.

I gently hugged her even tighter, trying to believe all of this.

I was about to say something when I feel her lips once again on me. I'm surprised at first but then, I quickly kissed her back. Quinn's lips are so damn soft and addictive. She puts her hands around my neck bringing me closer as I part her lips with my tongue, feeling her sweet taste again.

I lifted my hand to touch her face, softly caressing her cheek and I panic when I feel something wet on my thumb

She slowly pulls away from me, I opened my eyes to see her and that's when I saw the few tears that had fallen her eyes. My eyes gets big and my heart broke.

"Leave" She whispered, looking me straight into my eyes and pulling slightly away from me. What the hell. Why?

"Quinn" I try to touch her again but she pulls back.

"Please Santana" Quinn says, and I don't have idea of what she's pleading anymore. I don't understand anything, less now that I'm still trying to get back on earth after our kiss, I'm still flying. It was something I said? Something I did? "Please go" She adds before walking to the bathroom, locking the door.

I open and close my eyes a few times to make sure I'm not dreaming or something.

Was that just a dream? or it really happened?

The scent of her fragance and the throb of my lips makes me believe that it did happen though. But apparently, she didn't feel the same.

My heart literally can't take any more pain.

I sigh, trying to hold back my own tears before heading to the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Quinn POV

"I can't believe you kissed her back! Why?" Rachel asks rather upset as she watch TV.

After what happened yesterday with Santana, the first thing I did -after crying my eyes out- was calling Rachel and telling her in between sobs that I needed her. I couldn't handle so much pain alone. So being the good friend that she is, Rachel immediately arrived at my apartment. And it was pretty late, that's why I'm so grateful.

She didn't asked a single question, she just held me the whole night as I cried. But she knew the reason why. She always knows why I'm sad or why I'm crying.

Well there's always just one person to blame, so.

I had thousand of these crisis the first months where everything happened so I guess it's almost normal for her seeing me like that.

"I really don't want to talk about it Rachel" I weakly said, my voice hoarse after last night.

Her question has just a simple answer though.

Why I did it? Because I love her. I'm madly in love with Santana. I couldn't resist the urge to taste her again when I had her right in front of me, or more like behind me. It was all her fault though, she knows perfectly that just one touch from her and I'm worthless. Besides, it has been so long. But her lips keeps tasting the same, sweet and delicious strawberry. Her hands keep touching me in that same way that drives me crazy, her mouth keeps moving in the same way against my lips and my body keeps reacting in the same way.

Feeling her again like that reminded me of everything we used to have and everything we lost.

There's no way back this time. I can't be with her again, it would never be the same, I guess that's what deeply saddened me, and maybe that's why I cried.

I feel so stupid now. Thinking about it, it was really dumb cry in front of her, Gosh and in the middle of the kiss. But I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, I couldn't hold back the hurt. The moment those soft lips touched mine I was lost. Besides the way she kissed me was dreamed.

But she doesn't loves me. At least not as much as I love her if she was willing to cheat. In the same day we got married if I may add.

Fooling around with girls it's what Santana really loves, not me. People always say that a person can't change the way she/he is. I was just hoping that with time, she could change all her games for me, but it didn't happen.

"You need to stop this Quinn, you know what she did on your wedding night" She said serious to me. I threw myself back on bed, resting my head on the pillow and closing my eyes. This is so fucked up "You can't let this happen again" Rachel finished standing up from bed and turning off the TV.

"I know" I think that deep down, that's why I called Rachel in the first place. She is the first person to be against me and Santana, she always has something bad to say about her. So maybe that's why I called, I always do the same. Just when I'm getting stupid enough, weak enough, running into Santana's arms again without thinking anything, I call Rachel to give me strength. Because I can't do this alone. Santana has still so much power over me, that maybe even if she would had stayed a little longer, insisting, waiting for me to get out of the bathroom, we'd have kissed again.

It's so frustrating.

"You need to respect yourself Quinn, she doesn't deserves you" Rachel continued, walking to the crib where Bella is sleeping. "You know I'll love to stay here with you both" She smiles "But I need to go now, my show start in seven hours. You're still going right?" She asks me arching an eyebrow.

I nod, I really don't feel like talking today, much less to go to a damn show, but she wants me there so I'll be there, it's the less I could do for her. Besides Puck has been texting me all morning to ask at what time it's okay to pick me up.

"Okay" She leans down to kiss Bella, thank God she is better today and resting a lot. "See you there" I nod again.

I would love to stay in my bedroom all day and maybe keep crying, but I can't let her affect me so much again. This thing with Santana really needs to stop.

Rachel walks over me kissing my cheek before walking away. I don't know what I would have done without her.

I looked at my phone, to see what time it is. Not to check if Santana has texted me or called me, because she hasn't. And I don't know if it's okay or not to feel so disappointed about it.

Bella is sleeping and It's barely 10:00 am, so I think I will just sleep a little bit longer. I have all afternoon to get ready for Rachel's show, and a couple of more hours to see Santana again.

Stupidly, I'm already getting nervous.

* * *

><p>I was fast asleep when I heard the doorbell sounding like crazy. Why do I feel like someone just kicked me nonstop?<p>

And who the hell rings the bell like that?

I get up from bed, watching the time and discover that it's already 1:28 pm; I really slept a lot. And Bella didn't wake either. I walk towards her crib to check on her and she has a beautiful smile on her face. My baby girl, she's so pretty.

I sigh before heading to the door, I wonder who can be, I haven't even showered, I'm wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday.

I reach the door and just when I'm about to open it the doorbell sounds again, several times.

Jeez who is in such a hurry?

I opened the door and I'm sure my face hit the ground.

What is she doing here?

"Santana" I whispered her name.

"Yeah, that's me" She quickly says, sounding kind of upset while entering the apartment. "I couldn't stop thinking all night, I barely slept like three hours" She stands still, watching me.

"And you are here to blame me?" I asked with irony. I can't believe her._ I_ was the one who couldn't sleep last night, and it was all her fault.

"Of course" She shrugs "We need to talk about what happened Quinn. We kissed last night, and you kissed me back" She accuses me with a dead glare.

Yes, of course I kissed her back, my body always seems to think for itself when she's close, or even relatively near. What was she expecting? Me pulling back from her? because it's impossible. Of course I kissed her back, and it will always be like that. Every single time that she want to kiss me, I'll kiss her back, because sadly, I don't control that strong need she makes me feel for her.

I don't say anything though, I'm not ready for this kind of conversation just yet.

We stared at each other, not in a lovely way, but in a defiant look for long seconds. I'll not give her the satisfaction of say that I still feel something, or that I loved the kiss we shared last night. Her ego is already big anough.

Santana sighs shaking her head, breaking our intense eye-contact before walking to the couch and sitting on it, well not just sit, she just threw herself there like a dead body. "I need to know what is going on in that complicated head of yours Quinn" She adds, looking to her lap and hiding her hands on her thighs.

"In that complicated head of yours? Way to start a conversation Santana, charming as always" I walk around the couch sitting on the edge, as far away as possible from Santana.

"Don't act so innocent now Quinn, you've always been really complicated" She turns around her body to stare at me but I just look straight ahead.

I'm sure I look like a homeless right now. This is a really bad time to talk with Santana.

"What are you talking about, you're the one here who was always lying" My voice didn't come out as strong as I wanted. Quite the opposite.

"I _had_ to lie Quinn. And it was for your own good, you know it" Her voice is soft now.

"Yeah sure" I roll my eyes. I know perfectly that all of what she did was because of my own good. She really knew how to take care of me. But it was a lie nonetheless. "Always with good excuses" She let out a frustrated sigh.

"You know, It doesn't matter, because I'm not here to talk about that, I just want to know..." She pauses, a long pause. I even thought that she got bored and was about to leave but when I looked in her direction I saw her concerned face close to me. She approached a little more. "Why you cried last night Quinn? And why you kissed me back if you didn't want to?" Santana's hand reached mine, and she softly touched the back with her thumb "The way you kissed me..." She looked down at our hands, that once again, can't bring myself to pull away. In fact, I let her grab my both hands now "I know you still feel something about me" My breath hitched.

Santana lift her head and looks straight into my eyes, daring me to say otherwise.

What is she trying to do? Because I'm already about to say yes to whatever she wants.

She slowly starts to lean in, closing the small distance between us. And God, looking down at her full and so incredible soft lips there is nothing else I would love more than to kiss her. So, I begin to approach too, forgetting about everything I just promise to myself and Rachel hours ago.

But just then, our baby girl begins to cry.

I snapped out of my trance and pulled away my hands from her, she turns around her head avoiding my eyes, ashamed. I shake my head, getting back to reality and quickly standing up heading to the bedroom.

I can't believe I was about to kiss her again. It's a terrible idea. Tempting but terrible.

I entered the bedroom and walked straight to the crib to see my baby. She's fighting with the blankets and moving a lot. I lifted Bella in my arms soothing her and she focus her eyes on me after a couple of seconds, stopping crying immediately.

"Is she okay?" Santana asks next to me.

I don't even want to look at her again.

"Yeah" I say walking with Isabella to our bed and sitting. She stares up at me with her little eyes and a small smile, showing her dimples. "What baby?" Bella starts to makes that same fish gesture Santana told me the other day and I laugh "What are you doing?" she looks cute doing that.

"That's the face I was telling you" Santana says sitting next to me, stroking Bella's hair. "Tell your mom I didn't teach you that princess"

That word strikes again.

I close my eyes, thinking that I need to stop being always so stupid and vulnerable next to Santana. This has to stop someday, I'm just fooling myself here postponing this relationship.

Santana turns around her head to briefly look at me, with sweet eyes. "Did you have lunch? I could go and buy something? I know a place near here that-"

"I'm fine" I quickly say without looking her way.

"Already ate?" She cutely frowns.

I need to stop that as well. I can't keep finding her cute, or charming or sexy.

"No, I haven't eaten. I just don't want to share something with you"

She stares at me for several seconds, examining my whole face before sighing, heavily sighing "Fuck Quinn, are you going to be like that again? We almost even kissed again" Yeah, it definitely didn't go unnoticed by her our almost kiss.

"I don't know what are you talking about" I say unimportant.

She sighs yet again, lying backwards on bed. Her short t-shirt lifts up after this movement revealing her navel and desirable V mark, I unconsciously trailed my eyes down, looking to where her dick it's supposed to be. A noticeable package protrudes from her tight jeans and I can't help but bite my lip. Why is she so damn irresistible.

"You can't ignore this all your life Quinn" Santana continued and I quickly turned around my head, luckily she was with her eyes closed and didn't see me staring at her dick.

A familiar warmth settles in my lower stomach and my cheeks. I'm sure I'm blushing.

"Please shut up Santana. Nothing happened and nothing will happen" I compose myself quickly talking with a serious tone. As serious as it comes.

"What? Are you serious right now?" Santana sits again. She's like an impatient little kid "We kissed last night Quinn, that's why I'm here. I couldn't even close my eyes without thinking about it, without reliving it in my mind" Her voice sounds desperate, like struggling with my inconsistency "I'm tired of this Quinn, I really Am. I just want to know what it meant to you" She softly finished, giving me a pleading look.

Of course it meant something, and she knows it. But this can't be possible, why she can't understand that? She keeps making things more difficult than already are. Our relationship is already dead, and all because of her and Brittany sexcapade. It's all Santana's fault.

The doorbell ringing again prevents me to answer her. And I'm kinda grateful.

Who else could be now?

I look at the clock and it says 2:03 pm. Fuck I know who it is. I've forgot that I made plans with Puck to have lunch together. What I would do now?

"Who is it?" Santana asked me, looking at me strange. She can see my conflicted face apparently.

"I don't know" I lied before carefully giving Bella to her, ignoring the glare she's throwing my way, and heading to the door.

Ugh such a bad time Puck. It was a bad idea agree with him to that.

Besides, I don't know, but I really don't want to see him right now. I'd love to stay a little bit longer with Santana. Which, of course, shouldn't do.

Once I reach the door, I opened it.

"Hey" He says with a bright smile, hugging me. His hands again stay in my waist more than necessary.

"Hi" I say pulling back.

"You look gorgeous" Puck charmingly commented. Is he joking or something? because I haven't even showered "Are you ready?"

"Not yet" I say looking back inside, "Look, Rachel's show is in about-"

"Three hours" He interrupts me. Clever.

If there is something I hate is people interrupting me. Santana knows this first hand.

"Yes three hours" I affirm "Look, what about you wait for me in that restaurant that it's just around the corner? I'll be there in just a few minutes" I give him a sweet smile and he looks at me with a goofy face.

"Okay" Puck says with a grin.

"Okay, see you then" I was about to close the door but he held it.

"Did you just said that I wait for you in the restaurant right?" Puck asked, lost. He's still the dumb guy I met years ago.

"Yes, why?"

"What if I just wait here for you? Just take your time, I'll just watch TV or something" Didn't I say things clear?

Any other day I would have said yes. But Santana it's inside, and she isn't her happy self right now because apparently she just slept three hours.

Though she knows that I'll go with Puck to that show, but I just don't want her to see him and have more likely a fight or something.

"Just wait for me there, okay?" I say once again and he nods this time.

I closed the door, heading back to my room to get ready.

As soon as the show is over I'm out of there. I'm doing this just because of Rachel.

I reach the room just in time to hear Santana softly singing to Bella who lies in bed, intently listening.

Her voice it's so mesmerizing. I remember very well her voice singing to me, close to my ear and flooding me with sweet songs. The power of her voice always made my knees go weak in just a second. Even now, apparently.

I shake my head before walking inside.

Those times are gone. This is my present, and my present doesn't includes Santana, just Bella.

The moment she sees me she stops singing altogether, and that makes me feel sad somehow.

"Hey look, mom is back" She says to Bella with a half smile, showing a dimple on her right cheek. The one that I love the most, it's just so cute that it's almost impossible to look other way.

"I'm going to get ready. Rachel's show is about to start" It's not a wise idea to mention that I'll have lunch with Puck.

"Didn't you tell me that Puck was going with you?" Santana arch an eyebrow. Sexy.

"Yes, but I'll meet him there" I say before walking to the bathroom to shower.

The last thing I heard was 'What a gentleman' before closing the door.

* * *

><p>I gave myself the last makeup touches before getting out of the bathroom. Now I just have to apply some perfume and put my jacket to be ready, I hope this dress could cover some of the cold out there because it's freezing.<p>

"Wou" Santana says from bed, already under the covers with Bella fast asleep next to her. She puts her both hands behind her head, looking me up and down, her intense gaze makes me blush in no time. "You look beautiful Quinn" I blush even harder upon hearing her words, softly, and sweetly spoken.

But I ignored her, turning around to put my jacket and so that way she can't see my red-face. I'm like a teenage girl, blushing and getting nervous for the most stupid things.

"I'll be here in a couple of hours" I murmured, grabbing my purse and heading to the door.

"For his own good, Puck better take care of you. Without fucking goodbye kisses" Santana says serious, I love possessive Santana. When I turn around though, I see a playful smile on her beautiful face with her eyes glued on mine. Again, like daring me to say something.

Well I don't want to say something, I just want to walk over there and kiss her senseless.

"I can't make any promise" I shrug, playing along.

And somehow, wanting to get a reaction out of her.

But she chuckles, smirking "Please Quinn, you know his kisses are nothing next to mine" Oh I know.

No one can kiss like you do.

Her eyes slowly widen and she looks at me amused. "I know babe, right?" Santana says with a big smile. The bigger smile I've seen in her lately.

Please don't tell me I just said that out loud.

A warmth starts to rise in my cheeks again, making me blush.

I quickly turned around leaving the room, walking fast to the main door.

I can't believe I said that. I just admitted to Santana that I love her kisses.

I'm so stupid, why?!

Well not that I'm lying, if one thing I know for sure in this world, it's that her kisses are the _best_.

* * *

><p><strong>A:N Maybe they're getting somewhere after all, what do you think?**

**Next chapter Kurt's birthday, you will want to read it ;) Leave a review.**


	6. Chapter 6

Quinn POV

"This is insane Kurt" I shout through the loud, loud music "Why making such a huge party?"

"Well the owner of the building kindly offered me the rooftop so I couldn't say no! Just enjoy the view and drink something girl!" I laughed with his words. I think he's already drunk or on his way to be.

Well it's his birthday after all so I think it's okay.

"Yeah, the view is beautiful" You can see the whole city from here. Almost every big building with its lights.

Despite the cold -and his requirement that we all needed to come here well dressed up-, I think it's worth it, because the sight is simply breathtaken.

"Here" Puck says, arriving from behind me with two drinks on his hand, I gladly accepted one.

"What is it?" I asked before drinking it. I just like a few kind of drinks, the light ones.

"Strawberry vodka" Puck answers me before taking a sip of his own drink "Did you want something else?"

"No it's okay" I'm allowed to drink something tonight. Bella is with my mom now at her home because apparently Santana will come too, Kurt invited her. So my mom offered to take care of Isabella tonight.

But Santana still hasn't shown up her face. Which makes me wonder, is she coming at all? or is she going to go elsewhere to fuck some random girl?

Well it doesn't matter anyway.

I'm sure she is not coming, must be already making out with some whore.

"Are you okay?" I turn around my head just in time to see Puck looking me with a frown.

Why I wouldn't be okay?

"Yeah why?"

"Well you look upset, it's something bothering you?" Didn't I just say that I was okay?

"I'm fine Puck" I take a deep breath, biting my tongue to not say something bitter.

I know Puck it's a good guy, a good friend to me. I also know that he is subtly trying to have something more than just a friendship. Something I could never give him. But despite of everything, he's good company. That's why I invited him, because he wasn't one of Kurt's guests, I don't know why Kurt doesn't like him that much. Rachel couldn't come, so I didn't want to be alone here and probably see Santana with a girl.

"Alright" He says unconvinced "I'll go to the restroom, I'll be right back" I nod and he starts to walk away.

Maybe I need to be a little more kind with him.

I turned around my body to chit chat with Kurt but he's already gone, far away talking with Blaine at the edge of the rooftop.

They look cute together. You can see from afar how much they love each other.

I feel someone softly tap my shoulder, I turn around to see who it is; and my breath get stuck in my throat.

There she is. Perfect as always using light make up, wearing a short and tight black dress hugging all her figure. Heels that makes her look a little more tall and a leather jacket that makes her look insanely hot.

With the wind flying her hair it all looks like a dream to me.

"Hey" She says smiling "Why are you here all alone?" I briefly look down at her full and red lips that keeps smiling at me.

Would it be okay to just kiss her right now?

She looks perfect tonight.

After awhile of me stupidly staring at her, I quickly compose myself, taking a long sip of vodka. But fuck, who can blame me? She really looks flawless.

"Puck is in the restroom" I say nonchalantly and her face changes instantly.

I almost feel bad now for bringing Puck with that sad face she's giving me. Almost.

"Puck?" Santana asks frowning and pursing her lips.

"Yeah he's-"

"I'm here" Puck appears from behind Santana walking the two feets of distance between us, standing next to me and putting his arm around my shoulder. Santana's eyes makes holes on his arm.

"And what the hell are you doing here?" She says angry, way too upset and loud.

Why does she even care? It's none of her business.

"Quinn invited me, why?" Puck answers her a little more calmed.

"You're not one of Kurt's friends, so I guess you're here just for her?" She starts to get close to him, taking confident and definite steps with a defiant look placed on her face.

Please not now, I know that look very well.

"I think your assumption it's accurate" Puck said with his head high, but he tensed. I felt it when he tightened his hold on my shoulder. "She invited me so I guess she wanted me here?" He looked down at me with a smile that I didn't return, not now with the tension of this situation.

Besides Puck talking like that isn't helping at all.

Santana briefly looked at me, as if she were waiting for me to say something. But I didn't. I don't have anything to say. He's right somehow, I invited him because I didn't want to be alone here. Mostly because I didn't want to be alone here with _her._

I know I do stupid things from time to time, especially with alcohol and Santana involved. So Puck was my first option tonight.

"You shouldn't be here" She says to Puck with her eyes full of rage, ready to kill him.

Thank God we're in a crowded place because I know she's about to kick him if he keep talking like that.

"Well, I am here" He says lifting his head once again, bringing me a little closer with his arm.

Am I some kind of trophy or something for them?

"Puck, please" I glare at him trying to pull away. There's no need to make a scene for nothing, less in Kurt's birthday. "You should go and greet Kurt, Santana"

She turns around to look at me like saying 'really?', giving me a confused and kind of sad expression. Then her eyes return to Puck again.

"Just leave your hands and gross lips to yourself dumbass, I'm not kidding" Santana throw at him one more long challenging look before walking away from us to where Kurt is.

I sigh before taking Puck's arm completely off me.

At least that ended good.

Puck leans back, supporting himself on the cold wall and looking my way with suspicious eyes.

"She still thinks she owns you, apparently" Well, because she does.

"It seems so" I shrug taking a sip from my glass and quickly changing the topic.

I'm not in the mood to talk about something I don't have anymore.

Tonight I'll have a good time, without concerns.

* * *

><p>-0-<p>

I look up the sky, trying to get my eyes steady in just one star after the few drinks that I drank and seeing how slowly starts to get cloudy.

But it doesn't overshadow the sight, or the company...

So far, the night has been wonderful. Drinks keeps coming and so the laughters.

Luckily, the tension disappeared a few hours ago. Kurt has the power to put everyone laughing and in good spirits.

In fact, we've been here an entire hour or more. Kurt is just ignoring his other guests to be with us. Blaine, Santana, me, Puck and some random chick who can't stop eye-fucking Santana.

But she is next to me, and really close.

Her arm is resting on the metal railing of this beautiful rooftop and so it seems like she's hugging me, because as the minutes pass, I find myself getting more and more close to her, unconsciously approaching. Her fingers softly touch my shoulder from time to time. So soft and slow that makes me wonder if she's touching me at all.

"I'm going for another drink, do you want to go with me Quinn?" Puck asks me, gesturing to the big table where every type of drinks are.

He's been looking at me all night, I guess because now we're far away from each other and I'm next to Santana. Really, really close to her if I may add.

"No thanks" I quickly say to him and he goes with a reluctant look.

I feel kind of bad now. I know he's here for me, like Santana said, and I haven't paid him any attention.

But I just can't see him in that way. Less now with the love of my life next to me.

I turned around my head to listen again to whatever Kurt is talking about right now that makes everyone laugh. Apparently I missed something really funny. I hear Santana's contagious laugh near my ear, and it gives me goosebumps.

"I can't believe you let him do that, Blaine" Santana says amused. And her voice, the wind and her warm body attached to mine makes me feel things. A lot of things actually.

I should stop drinking.

Her hand this time, slowly but firmly grabbed my shoulder. Subtly bringing me closer to her chest, I just lean back towards her, because I can't think of anything else right now.

It's a constant battle between my heart and my mind whenever she's around. And with alcohol in my veins, everything is playing in her favor.

Her fingers slowly begins to caress the sensitive skin of my shoulder and arm, making my skin crawl, and I lean my body even more against her. Almost supporting all my weight on her chest.

"Are you cold?" She asked in my ear, leaving her lips there for long seconds as the whole world outside us disappear.

I don't know if she's playing dumb or not but I think she knows it, I'm not cold. Is just her closeness and soft touches that makes my skin crawl.

"I have a jacket on my bag" I stupidly said as her hand starts to slowly descends for my arm.

"Okay" She says in my ear again before pulling slightly back.

I finally looked up to the group again and I find Kurt just in time giving me a knowing smile.

He's always talking with me about Santana and how I'm being stupid for setting free to the market a woman like her. He's sure Santana didn't do anything. But it was me who saw her naked in bed with Brittany.

It is what it is.

I blush when I see him winking at me after gazing Santana's arm on my shoulder. I look to the side avoiding his playful eyes but it's a bad idea because I find Santana's face closer to me now, really close.

Our eyes meet and she gives me a sweet smile, gently squeezing my arm before caressing all the way up until it's on my shoulder again.

We really shouldn't be this close.

"What?" She whispered, without wipe her smile off her face.

She's so irresistible everytime she smiles.

"Nothing" I shake my head and pulled away from her. We need to be as far away as possible from each other.

"Hey, isn't this a party?!" Kurt shouts to the air, way too happy "Let's go to dance!" He demands dragging Blaine to where everyone is dancing.

Not surprising at all, everyone follows him. Even that girl who couldn't bring herself to take her eyes off Santana.

What was her problem anyway?

"So..." Santana begins, biting her desirable lip. Fuck, I really should stop drinking. It's not that I'm drunk or something, just a little tipsy, but this increases the need to be with her again. In any way, I just want to be close to her. "Would you dance with me?" I stared down at her lips as soon as she said those words, for several seconds, dreaming with her sweet taste and experienced tongue.

I would love to dance with her, but I don't know if it's a good idea.

"Would you like to dance with me instead?" Puck asks extending his hand for me.

When did he even approached this much?

I look between them without knowing what to do.

Kurt and his dancing idea.

Santana's head turns around to look at Puck dead in the eyes, but he doesn't pay attention to her.

"What the fuck is your problem?" She asked him with an aggressive tone.

"Quinn?" He ignores Santana, waiting for me to take his hand.

I really don't want to have any problem right now, less causing a scene.

My eyes look up at Santana who is ready to kill Puck at any time.

This is not good.

I really want to dance with Santana, feel her gentle hands touching my body with her slim figure against mine. But it's not right. I can't think about her like that again, we're nothing. The sooner I can understand that the better.

And I really don't want to dance with Puck, but I should, everything with him feels so wrong though. I wish I could just like him.

But looking at them both right now, I don't even have to think about it twice. Because my heart keeps beating for just one person. And I have her right in front of me, looking sexy as hell and incredibly adorable with a frown.

If I say yes to Puck, she would hit him, easily, and I really don't want someone getting hurt.

So I guess that was the reason why I took Santana's hand instead.

She gives me a surprised smile and then she glared at Puck, triumphant. And I rolled my eyes because that is so Santana.

She lead me to the dance floor, or better say to the middle of this rooftop where everyone is dancing. She slowly puts my hands around her neck, without breaking eye-contact while her arms hold my waist, not leaving any space between us.

She starts to slowly leans towards me and I get nervous, but I don't pull away. I just stare at her with curiosity.

She lifts one of her hands to put some hair behind my ear, smiling and looking me intently.

Is it normal to feel so many things with just one look?

Santana leaves her hand there, as if my head were about to fall out at any time. Well maybe it is like that after all, with everything that has happened lately and with all my thoughts, I might as well explode.

She leans even more, leaving our faces really close, and I don't do anything to step back, I just look at her, even maybe, wanting her to just close the distance between us already. She leans a little more until her lips brush slightly my ear. I close my eyes while my hands gets lost in her soft hair. "You really look beautiful tonight" Santana whispered. I unconsciously start to nuzzle my right cheek with hers.

I'll go crazy missing her.

Her hand goes back to my waist and she hugs me, forgetting the music, forgetting the people around us, forgetting everything. She hugs me as if her life depends on it. And so do I, I hug her tight catching up on all the hugs I didn't give her in these nine months, stroking her hair with one hand and touching the back of her neck with the other.

Santana slowly starts to fondle my back, touching every inch and I melt.

I'm lost in our world, just like it used to be before.

Well that's until that same bitch that was with us minutes ago speak next to us, and we have to pull away from that warm embrace.

"Are you going to dance with her all night?" She asks to Santana rather impatient.

"I... what?" This girl rolls her eyes before asks again.

"Are you going to dance with her all night?" Santana frowns, looking between me and the girl; just like I did with her and Puck.

"Sorry but I don't even know you. What are you talking about?" She politely asked as her hold on my waist tightened.

"What? we were just laughing and talking minutes ago" Is she for real now?

"Oh right, sorry" Santana gives her a small smile "But to answer your question, yes. I'm going to dance all night with her" She turns around her head to look at me with a playful face and mischievous smirk.

"Fine" The girl rolls her eyes once again and then she's out of sight.

Crazy bitch.

Santana shakes her head laughing while looking at me. Her eyes always looks so playful and tender when she laughs.

"What was that?" I asked frowning. But without requiring a response, it's not my right after all.

"I don't know" She just shrugs.

We look into each other's eyes smiling for a few seconds but this time, putting aside all the drama, all the pain and all the doubts that torment us.

I really want to kiss her right now. Like, really.

Maybe I shouldn't, but I don't care anymore, about anything. I just want her. I want my Santana back.

Just when I was about to close the distance between us to feel those lips against my own, I feel something wet on my cheek. Santana looked up at the sky with a smile showing her perfect teeth.

Her eyes return to mine and she lifts her hand to remove the raindrop falling in my cheek. Her thumb stays in my face though, smoothly touching me.

"It's raining" She whispered, and I can hear her.

Where is the loud music?

I looked to the side and in point of fact, Kurt has already lowered the music.

"The party is inside now people, it seems like it's going to rain. Everyone to my apartment" He shouted and they all quickly started to make their way inside the building.

It was a pretty view to be overshadowed by the rain. But well, is New York.

"Honestly, I don't feel like keep dancing and drinking" Santana continued with her eyes looking between my lips and eyes, I slightly blush.

I think that once again, we shouldn't be this close. This is bad. Which is a stupid thinking because I was about to kiss her seconds ago. But now that some raindrops started to fall, a warm body pressed against mine would be great.

"Why?" I asked her, I don't feel like be here anymore either. Not to sound a bad friend but I was here long enough.

Besides if Santana isn't going to be here I guess I'm not going to be here either.

She was about to answer me when Puck arrived next to us with a confused and suspicious face.

"Are you going to go inside?" He asks me, but his voice sounded strong, like demanding an answer. And I get confused myself because he never talks to me like that.

"I... I don't know" I looked back at Santana and her face is directly towards Puck, with a not so friendly stare.

"We should go back inside Quinn, the rain is going to get heav-"

"She is going to do whatever the hell she wants to do" Santana interrupted him.

Why everything has to be so tense between them.

"I know perfectly that" Puck briefly gazed at Santana and then he looks at me again, arching an eyebrow and waiting for me.

Well I really don't want to go inside, I'd love to stay here outside with Santana, looking at this beautiful and big city.

The rain starts to fall steady, wetting our clothes.

I look at her again, looking her beauty in just the light of the night.

I don't know what it is with this nigth that everything seems to be so easy and full of love between us.

"I'll do whatever you want to do" Santana says while putting her jacket around my shoulder to protect me of the rain, I didn't even realize when she took it off. Why she has to be so perfect.

Her scent starts to float into my nose in just seconds.

"We'll go home" I say without thinking, looking straight into those brown eyes. Santana's eyes gets a little big and her smile widen.

Wait, that didn't sound right.

I blush immeditely once I hear what I just said.

"I mean-"

"I know what you mean" She gives me a reassuring smile "Shall we go then?" Santana asked me, slowly pulling her hands off my waist and offering me her arm.

"I was the one who brought her here, so I'll be the one to take her home" Puck says displeased.

"It's okay Puck, you live in the opposite direction. I'll just walk with Santana" I softly replied him but he still looks kind of surprised and, sad?

Just then, loud music started to sound from inside. Apparently Kurt wasted no time.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, she's sure" Santana adds with a serious tone.

Puck looks at me one last time before nodding and walking away.

It's true though, he lives far away, and Santana lives pretty close to me. So walking with her was the wiser option, right?

"So now that your annoying friend is gone, let's go" Santana took my hand in hers, and we started to walk inside to the elevator as the rain kept falling.

Her warm jacket and soft hand makes me forget about the cold outside. It makes me forget about everything really. My eyes and body are concentrate in just one person.

* * *

><p>I offered her my jacket once we were out of the building because the rain was getting heavy, but she shook her head charmingly telling me that she was fine and she would rather get soaked herself than me.<p>

She just can't be so perfect all the time, why?! It's unfair.

Santana even offered me to take a cab because she knows how much I hate cold weather, but I know how much she loves rain so I just said that it was okay.

Besides I'm anything but cold right now.

So I let her lead me into the wet New York streets with her hand firmly in mine, without knowing what might happen next, just enjoying the moment.


	7. Chapter 7

Quinn POV

"Do you think Bella is giving your mom a hard time?" Santana asked next to me.

The rain stopped the moment we left the building, a few raindrop keeps falling though, but nothing serious. Guess that's alright with me, because cold weather is a bitch.

The cold however, it's incredible.

Even with Santana's warm arm around me and her jacket on, I'm freezing. _She_ is freezing too. That's saying something. Because she's Santana, who never feels cold. She put on my jacket short seconds after leaving Kurt's apartment, but even so, we're both pretty much becoming ice.

"I don't think so, she must be sleeping" I manage to say through my teeth.

"If you say so" She nods with a small smile.

Santana is silent after a few minutes, the only sounds heard in this cold night are our steps in the concrete and the slight rain against cars.

Her arm around me tightened and she sighs. I know her too well to know that something is up.

"What is it?" I softly asked, placing my hand over hers on my shoulder.

"Nothing" She shakes her head and turns around to give me a smile, to assure me, but I know is a fake one.

She lifts her head again, looking straight ahead. Luckily we're just two buildings away from my apartment. Well _our_ apartment, we buy that thing together after all.

"What is it Santana?" I ask again squeezing her hand, trying to ignore how soft and warm her hand feels, and how it makes me feel electricity through all my body.

I know something is bothering her.

"It's just..." She begins nervous, and kind of frustrating "Nothing" she sighs.

God, what is her problem? She has always been so difficult to express herself.

I stop walking and so does she. The cold air makes it hard to open my eyes properly, and maybe the strawberry vodka helped it too.

Santana looks at me sighing, she knows I won't let this go.

"Tell me" I say as I take her arm off my shoulder to take her hand.

It feels right, be with her like this. Like a normal couple would be.

"What is your deal with Puckerman?" Oh right, how I didn't think about that.

I shake my head grinning and started to walk again.

I thought it was something else.

"Hey!" Santana says from behind me, following me. "I just asked you something Quinn" She takes my wrist stopping me "You wanted to know what was bothering me, well that is what bothers me" Her eyes looks straight into mine, loosing my hand and taking my waist.

I really don't need more closeness from her, because I don't think I can control this accumulated and strong need to kiss her.

"Just tell me what's going on between you two" Santana brings me closer, until our chest are touching. What if I just kiss her now to shut her? Would it be okay? "I know you still feel something about me" she whispered close to my lips, and I close my eyes, lifting my hands and supporting them on her chest, trying to make some space. "I just know it"

Since I have my eyes closed, I didn't see her approaching, I just felt the slight touch of her lips on my cheek, close to my mouth.

Santana leaves her lips there for several seconds, and I don't do anything to stop her either. In fact, I grab her from her jacket pulling her close to me.

She step back after awhile, smiling and offering me her hand.

I guess she doesn't need an answer from me after all.

I can't be any more obvious.

She knows it, and I know it.

I love her. I always will.

But I'm not ready yet...

I take her hand and we both started to walk again, but this time, she laced our fingers.

* * *

><p>We entered the apartment freezing, but laughing at something stupid Santana was talking about. I swear that everything she says is funny or stupid, but it makes me laugh at the end.<p>

"Do you want some coffee?" I ask her once the laughter dies, closing the door behind us.

"No thank you, I'm fine" She says taking my jacket off her and I do the same. "So when will be my baby back?" Santana asked supporting herself on the wall.

She looks so freaking sexy, with her hair slightly wet and that dress, and that smile, and those lips, and that body...

"My mom will bring her tomorrow morning" I nod towards her as I support myself on the wall too. I guess I'm still a little tipsy. But this night was incredible, I wouldn't change anything about this night, not even a thing. Everything felt so easy and beyond belief "It's late Santana, and is raining. You should just stay here" Yes, definitely tipsy.

I don't even know what I'm doing or what I'm saying anymore.

Her smile gets wide and her eyes makes holes on mine. But I kinda like that look.

"Really?" She said unconvincing with a frown. I just nod and she smiles, nodding too. "Okay"

Good, because I wouldn't let her go either, it's late and we're in New York city.

We both stared at each other for a few seconds, no one giving away the intense look. But after awhile, Santana shakes her head, smirking.

"I'll go to sleep now" I say, or almost whispering. "You can sleep on the couch"

"Alright" Santana looks at me again with playful eyes and a pretty smile.

Why does she has to be so irresistible?

"Okay" I nod.

"Okay" She repeated, biting her so kissable bottom lip. And I nod again.

Gosh what I'm doing here, I should just go to my room. But it seems like my body doesn't want to.

"Should I take you to your room, princess?" Santana sweetly asked while approaching.

The warmth that settles in me chest upon hearing that word from those lips again, is overpowering, shattering.

She takes my hand and walked us to my room. Our room.

I can't help but melt with every touch and every word that she says.

I know she shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't let her stay here. But my heart speaks louder.

Once we arrived to my door, Santana lifts my hand kissing the back. She's such a charmer.

"You really look gorgeous tonight Quinn" She says looking me up and down, and with some sadness behind that look, I don't know why. Seeing sadness in those brown eyes, makes me feel sad myself "Well, there's nothing new on that" She let out a small laugh.

"Thank you, you look beautiful too" I whispered back and she shakes her head, with an amused expression. A smile threatening to appear on my face too.

I love everytime she says I'm beautiful or any kind word.

"You're the beautiful one here" Santana starts "And the smarter, and the sweetest, and the hottest, and the-"

"Stop it" I say giggling, supporting my weight on the doorframe with a goofy smile.

Jesus I'm like a teenage girl.

How I love this woman.

"You know I'm right" She shrugs, taking my hand in hers and touching the back with her thumb. This small gesture makes my heart accelerate its rhythm, it's crazy "I guess, this is goodnight then?" She whispered anxious.

"I don't know, I guess it is" I shrug as well, wanting to prolong as much as I can our time together. And her eyes keeps looking at me with intensity, with some shine.

"Well, it doesn't have to be" Santana step closer, leaving just inches of distance between us, and I get a little bit nervous. Her hands takes my waist, firmly, while I try not to give up on her touches, on her "Give me this night" She kisses my cheek, and this time I just let my body and heart be. I firmly grab her face with my hands, pulling her slightly closer "Please" She said against my skin as I feel her lips on my cheek again, kissing me.

"Santana" I whispered her name. And I'm not so sure if I'm pleading for her to leave, or to just take me right here.

"I miss you babe" She says, lifting her face with her eyes and showing so much emotion, is spellbinding "I need you" Her hands tightened their hold on me, gently pulling me in.

She doesn't wait for an answer though, in a matter of seconds she leaned crashing her lips with mine. And it's like seeing fireworks, it's like feeling fire, it's like going back years ago when everything was fine. It's like feeling love.

It's like everything.

Maybe tonight, I could make an exception. Because I just can't endure the pain of not having her for one more second.

I kiss her back, opening my mouth to let her tongue in, heavily breathing. She walk us to the bed, without separating our mouths from each other and we both fall into it. Gently putting me with her arms on bed.

I don't think I can stop this. Not even if I wanted.

Santana's hands slowly start to feel my body, gently touching my thighs under my dress. And I fight back a moan when she squeezed my skin inside my leg, close to where I need her right now. She leaves my lips and begins to kiss my neck, softly sucking in that spot she knows too well. Damn, that feels good.

I close my eyes biting my lips, letting myself get lost in all the pleasure she has to offer me. I unconsciously open my legs and Santana quickly fit in between them, and God, I can feel her big package right there already.

I sigh in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent and grabbing her head, pulling her closer. "Fuck" I breathed, feeling a familiar warm in my lower stomach when she passed her tongue behind my ear.

She then begins to kiss me down, kissing me between my breast and down over my dress. Her eyes are closed though, I don't know why.

Her fingers reach my both hands that are on her hair, and she intertwined our fingers.

I stroke her hair, softly lifting her head and she opens her eyes, smiling at me.

I don't know what she might be thinking, but it's a terrible time to be thinking about things right now, because I need her, badly.

I put her hands on my thighs again, dragging her face up and kissing her, deeply. I kiss her with everything I have, and she does the same. I take the edge of her dress quickly pulling it up, revealing all her perfect body in shape.

We parted from each other's mouths so Santana can take the cloth off her completly, my hands thinks on their own though and they quickly find their way to her stomach, caressing her to make sure I'm not dreaming. Because it feels like one.

She supports her weight on her arms and she leans down again to kiss me. This time, we both whimpered.

It's been so long since the last time I had her like this.

I lowered my hands to grab her ass, and Santana thrust into me, making me groan in her mouth. She lifts my dress and in just seconds we're both wearing just underwear, without stopping kissing.

I part my legs widely and Santana puts all her weight on me, surrounding me with her body. Her hand slowly, very slowly descends from my stomach, touching me with her fingers.

I whimpered against her lips when she cupped me, applying a little pressure there "Fuck San" I say brushing my lips with hers. And she smiles.

I take her bra off, and she does the same, throwing them both away.

She leans down and it's magical how it feels to have her breast against mine again.

I hug her back, not having enough of her.

I put my hands under her panties, touching her ass and pulling her against me as well, trying to feel more pressure.

And apparently she got the hint because Santana quickly pulls her panties down, throwing the last of her underwear away and revealing her cock, Fuck. God how could I last this long without having sex with this goddess.

I reach my hand to touch her, I just can't help myself.

I touch all her nice and soft dick in my hand, enjoying every second.

She's already hard, and big.

Santana leans down, grabbing my face in her hands and kissing me while I keep touching her dick, up and down.

I think I'm already wet for just touching her. I'm more than ready. Santana kiss her way down again, from my chin to my neck; and she grabs my panties, pulling the cloth down completly.

Now we're both naked, I can feel her erection against my wet pussy.

She gently bites my neck, moaning when I lifts my hips up.

I grab her dick with my hand passing it through my wet folds and Santana slowly, start to jerk her hips down. And just like that, in seconds, she is fully inside of me.

"Fuck Quinn" Santana whimpered against my lips before kissing me.

Her hands touch me down, settling one in my right thigh and the other on my waist, with a steady pace.

I put my hands around her back while lifting my left leg and putting it around her waist. She gets even more deep inside of me.

We both keep moaning in each other's mouth. The kiss was getting erratic so Santana pulls slightly away.

"Santana" I moaned, biting my lip when she reached that right spot "Fuck"

Her hands touch me, caressing me. Every part of my skin until she touch my face, grabbing my cheeks and kissing me again. Leaving me breathless.

She keeps thrusting into me, with movements that feels so fucking good. It's unbelievable.

I buried my fingernails into her back, trying to hold on something. I feel like screaming just for the pleasure she's making me feel right now. I hug her tighter, bringing her closer while she keeps kissing me, slowly and caring.

I'm sure our lips will be swollen after all these intense kisses, but I don't mind.

"Mmhm" She murmured "I love you" She whispered, and my heart stop beating "I love you Quinn" She said again kissing my cheeks, my chin and my neck.

I didn't think she would say that.

It's different now.

She said she loved me the other day, after nine months. And it felt... different.

I love her too, I really do. But I still can't bring myself to say those words back.

And I don't know If I could believe her either.

She slow down the rhytm of her hips, and lifted up her face, looking me down and reflecting pure love on her eyes.

"I love you princess" She whispered before closing the small distance between us once again. Kissing me in a way that just Santana knows.

Happiness takes over my heart, because despite of all, the fact that I still got Santana to say 'I love you' to _me,_ it's something big.

Just as big as her dick, that keeps pushing me close to the edge.

I stroke her hair as we keep kissing, passion and lust burning in the air.

She's still everything to me, she's still my one and only love. And doing this with her again after so long, it's like living again.

I can feel she's about to cum, her hips movements speed up and the kiss is anything but coordinated right now.

After two or three minutes, she cum hard inside of me, whimpering my name against my lips as I reach my highest point as well.

"Fuck" I moaned out loud. She gives me soft and short pecks on my lips as we both try to catch our breathes.

Her hips keeps moving slow into me though, to ride it out.

God that felt amazing.

I captured her bottom lip in between mine, slightly sucking, and she smiles, leaning down to kiss me properly.

I don't give a fuck if what we did was right or not.

I'll live in this moment, I'll just care about these lips kissing me back right now.

Tonight is tonight, and tomorrow will be another day.

Tonight, it's just me and Santana.

Tonight we're just one again.


	8. Chapter 8

Quinn POV

I slowly start to open my eyes, adnjunting them to the day light. I wake up with some headache, it was a bad idea to drink last night after all. I hate hangovers. My eyes feels heavy as well. But my heart it's full of happiness and love.

I lean further back towards her, snuggling all my body into her front. Her arm is still firmly around my waist, as if she feared that I would disappear into the night.

Last night was incredible. I'm wordless. We made love all night, I enjoyed her all night.

It wasn't enough just one time for me, far from it. I needed more, I needed all of her, and for hours. I needed her kisses for hours. Words can't even get close to how I missed her these past few months. I was slowly dying without her, If it weren't for Bella maybe I would be dead indeed.

But unfortunately for me in some way, I live just for them. My life is just Bella and Santana. They both complete me. So Santana's absence was something hard to carry on, I was half breathing, half living.

I know the big mistake she made. It is maybe the crudest form of cheating. Besides, it wasn't just any girl, it was Brittany. The only person that makes me question everything in me. The only person that I knew could steal Santana away from me.

Santana knew very well how I feel about them, I never accepted their friendship completely because I'm not dumb, I knew Brittany was having second thoughts. But Santana didn't hear me. And I still don't know very well what really happened that night. Not even Santana can explain herself with clarity.

But honestly, I don't want to keep questioning what went down that frightful day, I don't have strength left for that. The harm is already done.

No one knows the deep pain I went through, all the tears poured out everynight. Santana really made me feel miserable, unwilling to live. And I hated her for that, all my heart was contaminated with pain. Some anger is still there actually. A lot of anger.

But love is bigger.

That's why I let her make love to me. I let myself forget and love, at least for the hours that I was hers again.

I know things changed between us, but maybe I needed that change. Maybe I needed to forget and live again.

I don't know what to think just yet. I just know that being with her like this, makes me happy.

And just like everyone says, follow your happiness, right?

Her arm moves over my waist bringing me closer. And I smile like a fool in love.

I lifted up her hand, kissing her fingers and getting lost in her warm embrace and protection, in all her love.

Santana really is my entire universe.

I was about to turn around to kiss her when I heard the doorbell.

Must be my mom.

I looked at the clock and in fact, it's already 9:30 am. My baby is back.

I slowly and silently got up, not wanting to wake the beauty in my bed, quickly putting a bathrobe to cover my nakedness and walking to the door.

I think anyone can appreciate the happiness and brightness in my eyes. We barely slept four hours, but I do not regret it at all. How could I? It was one of the best night I've had in so long.

I reach the door and quickly open it to see my baby.

And I'm happily surprised to see my sister there instead of my mom.

"Franny?" I stupidly asked with a big smile.

I haven't seen her in two months. Work and other issues had keeping her away.

"Hey favorite sister" She hugs me with just her left arm because Bella is in her right.

"I'm your only sister dork" I shake my head as I keep hugging her, I really missed Franny. Mostly because these past few days haven't been the best. "And mom?" We pulled away from each other, greeting Bella and taking her in my arms.

"She couldn't come" Franny shrugs walking inside.

And I panic, because Santana is inside and ever since the wedding's incident the only thing that Franny has wanted is kill her.

Which I know she would.

"It's really great to see you, but what are you doing here in New York anyway?" I try to make quick conversation as I walk with Bella to the kitchen. Isabella looks up at me, anxious playing with her tongue. "Are you hungry baby girl?" I asked her as if she were about to answers me.

"Actually" Franny walks behind me sitting on the chair "I'll live here now"

I turn around to look at her, incredibly surprised.

"Are you moving to New York?" Now I am speechless.

"Yeah" She nods with a grin. "Ryan's work is here now. And I quit the other shitty job I had. Also I'll be close to you and this beauty now, so it wasn't a hard decision either"

I can't believe it, this is so great.

It seems like my life is slowly getting good again.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Yeah, why didn't she? We always talk with each other on the phone, almost daily.

"I don't know. It was all of a sudden honestly. We just agreed to move on a few days ago"

"When did you arrive?"

"This morning, early this morning" She rolls her eyes and I laugh, because I've never seen anyone else who hates the mornings more than her. Not even Santana.

"I'm so happy Fran" I squeezed her hand over the table and she smiled.

But then we heard the bathroom door closing and the shower.

Fuck

Not a great time to shower Santana.

Franny gives me a mischievous smirk raising an eyebrow.

"You sure took advantage of this apartment last night little sis" She says way too happy and I blush.

"Is not what you think" I shake my head standing up with Bella in my arms. It's exactly what she thinks actually "Do you want something to drink?" I changed the topic, but she keeps looking at me with playful eyes.

"Tell me, who is it?" She stands up as well "Is it a girl? a boy?"

I rolled my eyes, opening the fridge and pulling out some juice. Trying to occupy myself in something.

"Is just Rachel" I lie, but luckily, she seems okay with my answer.

"I like that girl for you" Not the first time I hear it from her.

I really don't know why she loves Rachel so much now.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen" I frowned glaring at her.

"Why? maybe not the quitest girl but she's okay" Franny adds with humor.

Maybe this is not about Rachel anyway, because Franny has tried to introduce me different people with the intention of something more. Maybe this is about Santana and Franny's way to pull me as far away from her as possible.

She would kill me if she knows what happened last night.

"She's my friend Franny, it would be so... awful and weird" I grimace at the thought and she laughs.

"Anyway, I should go. We still need to arrange some things. Maybe I'll come over later with Ryan, okay?" She hugs me, saying goodbye to me and Bella.

I walked her to the door and she promised to visit me with our mom tomorrow before closing the door. Not looking forward to see my irritating mom but I think a little family reunion won't harm anyone.

I'm really happy. Really, really happy to have Franny in the same city now.

This is going to be good.

"Hey"

And just like that, my heart skipped a beat just by the sound of her voice.

I turned around with Bella and just as I thought, she was already bathed, wearing some shorts and a t-shirt of mine. Looking beyond sexy.

"Hi" I widely smile at her and Bella starts to lift her small arms towards Santana, already going crazy for her.

"So... I borrowed some clothes" Santana cutely says, looking down at her body and analyzing her clothes. Well my clothes "And I also used a new toothbrush that was on the bathroom cabinet" She says nervously, walking towards us with her eyes on me.

Santana takes slow steps, and oddly, looking at me like trying to decipher some answer.

But I think I know what she is thinking. The same as me, maybe.

"It's okay" I whispered the words.

After a few more steps she gets right in front of us, breaking eye contact with me and leaning down to kiss Bella's forehead, it's fascinating how they both smile at each other. "Hey, little girl. I missed you too" She kissed her cheek before lifting her head again, looking at me.

"Good morning princess" She charmingly tells me.

And it is actually. A really good morning.

Santana's hand cupped my cheek, looking between my lips and eyes while I just smile like a dumb. Trying to believe all this happiness.

"Good morning" I reply her.

She seems to be deep in thoughts. Debating her next move.

But she is Santana, she just do what she wants, without causing any discomfort to anyone.

So she slowly, very slowly leans towards me, giving me the sweetest open mouth kiss. Two open mouth kisses actually.

I would happily deepen the kiss but Bella is moving a lot.

Santana peck my lips one last time before pulling her hand away from my face and taking Bella in her arms. "Hey, I just wanted to say hi to your mom baby girl" Bella just smile while Santana keeps talking nonsense with her.

This girl really loves Santana. Well just like me.

I walk behind them supporting my chin on Santana's shoulder.

I know we need to have a serious conversation, but right now, for once, I want to make my own decisions and live in this happy bubble. Be a happy family for once without so much drama.

I hugged Santana's waist and she turned around her head, smiling and kissing my nose.

The simplest gesture, and the biggest thrill.

My stomach fills with thousand of butterflies flying through my body, fluttering everywhere with Santana's name on them.

I keep loving her a little more everyday, how can that be possible?

"I love you" Santana says kissing my forehead.

And she keeps saying it, she said it all night.

And I still can't bring myself to say those three words back.

But I guess that's normal, right? After the big shock I had to go through, I think it's okay not wanting to be so vulnerable again so soon.

"You don't have to say anything" She smiles at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

I nod, kissing her cheek and walking to the kitchen. At least she's being understandable with my lack of affection, or better say, with my lack of I love you's.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I change the topic.

"Bella is hungry, I think. I'll make us breakfast you can feed her if you want" Santana walks into the kitchen after a few seconds, showing me Bella's face in front of me "That's her hungry face, right?" I look at her small face and in fact, she's hungry.

She has a noticeable frown and she's eating her thumb, adorable.

I smile at the sight before taking Bella from her.

"Okay then, everything is in there" I point to the large cabinet "You can make whatever you want, just try not to burn the kitchen" I laugh at my own joke before walking away with Santana telling me something like 'let's pray'.

* * *

><p>I stretch my arms once I'm finally dressed, hot water always relaxes me, it makes me sleepy and wanting to go back to bed. So now a nap with Santana cuddling me sounds really good.<p>

I walk to the crib to make sure Bella is still sleeping, and she is. She fell asleep right after feeding her with a cute smile on her lips.

I happily sigh, today everything feels so good. A really good day so far, with good news from my sister and with good company next to me.

It can't get any better.

I hear Santana's phone sounding once again and I frown, it hasn't stopped ringing. I even shouted after her when I was feeding Bella because it sounded really loud but she just said 'it doesn't matter turn it off'.

I didn't turn it off though, and it keeps sounding like crazy.

I walk towards the phone that is lying on the floor next to the nightstand and I take it to see who it is.

And my mind automatically goes back to my wedding night.

I feel all the air leave my lungs as the nervousness and fear start to surge. My heart gets smaller and my doubts increase.

I wasn't expecting to see Brittany's name on Santana's phone.

I sit on bed, dumbly watching down at the phone. Almost as if Brittany were about to say something to me.

With shaky hands I canceled the call, taking a deep breathe and trying to calm down.

I can't believe it.

Do they keep in touch? They keep having sex behind my back?

Is Brittany and Santana laughing at me right now?

I close my eyes before keep thinking in thousand of more questions. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

The phone vibrated in my hands again but this time with a message.

I don't think about it twice, curiosity got the best of me and I unlocked Santana's phone.

Six missed calls from Brittany and a new message.

I opened the message

**-I need to talk to you immediately-**

_I need to talk to you immediately._

_I need to talk to you immediately? _I repeat in my head.

What to make with those words? Urgent to agree on a place to have sex?

What else to think with that bitch in heat.

"Hey, breakfast is ready" Santana's voice makes me lift my head from her phone.

I look into her eyes trying to read her.

Is she really fooling me around? Making me believe something to just get into my pants?

Does she even stopped seeing her as she said?

Well no, apparently.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Santana frowns as she walks closer.

"Brittany called you and texted you" I simply said, showing no emotion in my voice and showing her the phone.

It's priceless how her face changed in a second with strangeness and fear clearly reflected on her face.

"Whatever she wrote or say, is not true Quinn" She quickly said before sitting next to me. "Is not what you're thinking babe" She reached for my hands but I pulled away.

Any type of closeness isn't good now.

I threw her phone on the bed sighing, standing up and leaning my weight on the wall.

I'm sure there is someone up there who hates me, who enjoys seeing me in pain all the time.

Why I can't have a normal life with a normal family? Is not so much to ask, is it?

And now just when I was considering forget everything, forget every bitter moment I had with her, everything she did to me, every word she said and every word she didn't say. Just when I was planning on take her back, it turns out that maybe, she was playing with me.

_Again_

"Quinn I-"

"You better answer her" I cut her, taking out all my inner strength to not break into tears "It sounds hasty"

"I'm not going to fucking answer her. I need you to hear me out first" Santana stands up desperately. "We need to talk, I'm not going to let you turn down a conversation this time, not after what happened last night Quinn" She firmly said with her body right in front of me and looking me intently.

"Santana" I blurted out her name. Not sure of what I really want to say, because I know she is right. But right now, after seeing Brittany's name on her phone and with so many emotions within me all over the place. Is not a good idea.

"You know I'm right" She adds, like reading my mind.

And maybe she does have that power after all. Because she always seems to know exactly what to do or say to get under my skin.

"I know, just not right now" I look back at her but she quickly shakes her head.

"No, we need to talk now" Santana's hand lifted, grabbing my waist as a single tear threatens to falls down her face "We can't keep hurting ourselves Quinn, I don't think I can't take any more pain" Santana hopelessness said, breaking my heart.

I can't endure more pain either.

She lifted her other hand, hugging my waist and I instinctively put my hands around her neck.

Santana almost never cries, and seeing her on the verge of tears right now makes things worse.

"Santana" I whispered her name again. Still not sure of what I want to say.

Or maybe I am sure, but not ready.

"You have to believe me" She said lifting her hand to touch my cheek, leaning the few inches between us and giving me a long peck, resting her lips there for seconds as a single tear falls down her eye.

I can taste the salty of it. But it doesn't stop me from kissing her back.

We kissed each other for minutes, minutes of pure love. Savouring all of her and softly touching each other's bodies.

Is worrying how her lips always takes me to another world, forgetting everything.

I should be mad at her, or I should be asking questions, a lot of question. But everytime her lips touch mine, I'm worthless.

Santana's hands goes back to rest on my waist again as the kiss speed up, touching my back under my shirt, and I slightly sighed at the feel of her hands on my bare skin.

This feels really great.

But then, Brittany's face shows up in my head, and I pulled away.

She was about to say something but I cut her before, shaking my head and making some space between us.

Is not a bright idea to kiss her or have sex right now. Quite the opposite.

"I have a lot in my mind right now Santana" I stepped back from her taking two steps away "I now we need to talk. But not now" I softly finished.

Santana looked at me for long seconds, without saying anything.

Her intense gaze makes holes in my eyes and I looked away. I don't like when she looks at me like that, like disappointed of me.

"You often makes things more complicated than already are, you know that right?" I watch her take her phone from the bed, picking up her dress from last night and walking away.

I threw myself on bed when I heard the main door closing. Letting myself release some pain with tears.

I agree with Santana, this needs to stop.

I don't want to feel like I'm dying inside every single day of my life with the agony of not knowing where we stand.

We need to talk, but conscious of every word we say and leaving aside all subjectivity, being calm. Not like this, with all the pain, rage and resentment still so deep into us, directing everything we say.

And surely not after seeing Brittany's name on her phone.

Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after. But not today.

I settled myself better on bed, calming the silent tears falling down my face.

We do need to talk.

I need to know so many things. I need to hear Santana say a lot of things.

I need to know details and reasons. Everything.

My main question is though, why?

Why her?

Why it had to be that day?

Why she didn't tell me before?

Maybe is not worth it all of this.

We need to stop talking about the same subject. Because Santana doesn't has the answers either.

Maybe I need to talk with another person...

After drying my tears, with Santana's face in my head and the taste of her lips on my mouth, I drifted up to sleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up again with the sound of the doorbell. Looking to the wall clock next to Bella who keeps sleeping, I see that I just slept twenty minutes. It felt like a lot more, and all my body hurts in a way.<p>

I walked to the door, silently hoping to see Santana again, but when I opened it, my face fell.

"Biff?"


	9. Chapter 9

Quinn POV

"Surprise" He says with a stupid smirk planted on his face. Dressed in a blue suit with his hands on his pockets, looking extremely formal and happy.

I thought I would never seen him again. Ever again. But I guess I was wrong, because a little less than two years has passed and here he is.

And despite the fact that we ended things in 'good terms', I feel kind of scared right now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. And giving away my gestures, it's evident how uncomfortable I feel, but he never noticed this sort of things before.

"I found out you and Santana aren't together anymore" He stares at me triumphant, as if he were waiting for that all along.

"How did you know where I live?" I step outside the door slightly closing it behind me. There's no way I will let him in into my apartment or find out that I have my baby sleeping inside. I know he's out of his mind most of the times.

"Doesn't matter beautiful, you seem to forget how much cash I have on my bank account" Biff chuckles.

How could I forget? It was a really important reason to marry him years ago. Economic stability.

"Tell me what do you want Biff" I said without patience.

I don't know if Santana's absence is a good or bad thing right now, I would really appreciate her presence though.

"I came here to ask a favor, since you and Santana pretty much owe me one"

What?

"What makes you think I owe you one? What are you talking about?" He smirks yet again, supporting his body on the wall with his eyes glued on me, watching me like a predator would look at his prey.

I can't believe I once thought that I would spend the rest of my life with this man, I feel dirty just with the stare he's giving me.

"You look even more sexy than before Quinn, impressive" Biff bit his lip before staring down at my body "I can't believe it came out a baby from that flawless body"

"Stop looking at me like that" I raise my voice "And please leave my daughter out of this, tell me what the hell do you want or I will call the police" I said with confidence, but I feel incredibly frightened.

"Alright, no need to be aggressive" He lifts his both hands. And I let out an ironic laugh.

No need to be aggressive? Cynic.

"What are you doing here Biff, last time I ask"

"I know that Santana hates me. And I know that you guys aren't together anymore, but she loves you, with all her being. Which is disgustingly touching by the way" He makes a gesture to show his clear disgust. Idiot "But anyway, that's why I'm here" I frowned with each word he said, I'm confused.

Where is Biff going with this?

"I think we are on different pages"

"We always were, sweetheart" Biff gives me a mysterious smile, getting closer "I need Santana, I need a really big favor. But she isn't going to listen to me" Is he insane?

"Why would any of us help you, are you crazy?" I glared at him raising an eyebrow, Biff really is out of him if he thinks that.

"Something like that" he just shrugs "But you know Quinn, you cheated on me for months, even when we were fine, you cheated on me with her. Santana betrayed me and I almost lost all my money and my family, all because of her" I look to the side upon hearing his words, it was wrong in some way "And I happily signed the divorce without asking or saying anything, without report Santana for what she did to me. I even found out that she worked for the mob for years, and I didn't say anything either, so yeah, I think she owes me"

Biff finished, taking out a small card from his pocket and handing it to me, but I didn't take anything.

"Things weren't as you say, and you know it" I was about to walk back inside but Biff grabbed my arm in a strong grip.

"I haven't finished yet" He said with his low and threatening voice that I know way too well.

I try to loose his grip on my arm but is impossible.

"Get your hands off me or I'll start screaming" I say through my teeth.

He laughs releasing my arm but grabbing my wrist.

"Just tell Santana that I need a favor, okay? unfortunately I have no other choice but to ask for her help, I wouldn't be here otherwise. And if she doesn't want to help me, you'll convince her" Is he for real?

"You have no decency to ask us anything"

"Come on Quinn, don't be so dramatic. You have to see this as a way to be at hand. Besides, only Santana can help me with this. No one else" He rolled his eyes, as if the very idea of Santana helping him burn his skin.

"What is it?" I asked intrigued.

What it is that just Santana can help him?

"Something involved illegal documents, a lot of money and things like that. Big things for big people, I can not give you more details" He smirks.

Please don't tell me he is talking about the mob. Santana can't go back there, not with a daughter who loves her. And wife.

"What makes you think I'll convince her?" I replied him with fear evident in my voice.

"Well then..." He released my wrist taking a step backwards "This time I'll be the one who will steal something from her, anything" I know he's just an asshole with a big mouth, but the determination in his eyes scares me.

What does that mean?

He threw the small card to the floor, and seeing down at it, I can see that is a card with his phone.

After one more look, he starts to walk towards the elevator.

"I won't convince her to do anything" I said after him before he can go.

"You'll have to do it if you want your ex wife in one piece" Biff said looking me dead in the eyes before getting into the elevator.

Still, I took the card from the floor and I closed the door behind me, supporting my body on the cold frame and letting out a heavy sigh.

Something begins to tighten my lungs leaving me without breath.

What do I do now?

* * *

><p>Santana POV<p>

I've never hated someone this much, and that's saying something.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, some of them follows me to this very day. But if I could just go back and change one thing, if I could amend just a single mistake, one of the thousands I made, that would be Brittany. My biggest mistake.

When two people break up, everybody always says remember just the good times. But personally, I have nothing good to remember with her, because I was never happy. Brittany was just a distraction at first, it never was something more. Not even when we were officially dating, she remained a distraction, a distraction from _Quinn._

And now, with everything that has happened, I think it's safe to say that I really hate Brittany. If it weren't for her, I'm sure I would be with Quinn right now.

I would be happily married and I would have Quinn in my arms, with Bella by our side. But no, I'm far away from them.

And there is just one fucking person to blame.

I sighed, settling better on this uncomfortable chair as I take a sip of coffee waiting for Brittany.

I texted her back about an hour ago to agree on a place to meet me. I need to tell her a few things, maybe this way she can stop bothering me for once.

She is already late twenty minutes though, maybe she's not coming. Which would be totally insurgent after ruining a wonderful morning, the least she can do is show up here and talk to me, right?

Last night with Quinn was dreamed, I can still feel the taste of her lips and the warm of her body under me, and above me. Everything felt so good, so right. I thought she would freak out afterwards, but luckily it didn't happen. Not until Brittany anyway.

I look down at my phone to see if I have any reply from my princess, but nothing. I sent her like ten messages, one every five minutes, but she doesn't want to talk to me apparently.

"Hey" I look up just in time to see her greeting me with a smile. I'm not in the mood to smile though, least at her. I acknowledge her with a nod and she sits down "I haven't seen you in months, how have you been?" Brittany adds.

"And I wasn't planning on seeing you, honestly, maybe never again. But certain circumstances have brought me here" I quickly said and she just looks to the side.

I'm not going to be so kind this time. I had enough of her.

"Harsh" Brittany looked back at me with gentle eyes.

"What in the hell makes you want to talk to me after months? Finally ready to tell me what happened on my wedding night? Ready to tell me what _you did_ to me?" I calmly said, taking another sip of coffee without taking my eyes off her. Glaring at her.

"I told you what happened Santana, you just don't want to believe it" Brittany responded me lifting her hand to call someone to take her order.

How could I believe her words? Is just stupid, cheating on Quinn is something I would never do, sober, drunk, drugged. It doesn't matter, is just something that isn't programed in me.

"Could you please tell me the truth? It could save me a lot of problems" To not say heartache or pain.

"We had sex" Brittany shrugs unimportant.

And she is going to keep playing with me like it's a funny thing to do, apparently.

Her games though, have led to a broken family with broken hearts. And Quinn warned me, so this is all my fault.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you hate me so much?" I asked her, but it seems like I will not get any answer from her again.

Why all the calls and that message though?

"I don't hate you, I hate her" She confesses after a while. The hold around her cup of coffee tightened making her knuckles even more white. She looks really upset.

"Quinn?" Just the mention of her name makes Brittany rolls her eyes looking to the side, giving me the answer "Why?" I asked genuinely interested, because come on, who can hate someone like her? Who on earth could have the heart to hate a woman as sweet as Quinn?

It doesn't make sense.

Brittany chuckles, shaking her head "Because of you, what else?"

"Me?"

"She made you leave me Sanny. She stole you from me, and not once but twice. Even when we were in a stable relationship, you used to whisper her name in your sleep, breaking my heart into million pieces" She takes a deep breathe as the new information settles in me "If we are not together right now, that's because of her" I can't believe she's thinking like that "She stole the love of my life, my one and true love. I haven't been able to be happy since you left me Santana, so why I wouldn't hate her?"

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it out.

Well, that was intense. But I sure as hell didn't see things like that.

"Quinn didn't stole me, Brittany. My heart chose her" I said after seconds of silence. She looks a little more calm now, like relieved somehow to finally say that out loud, her face makes me think that she is retaining some tears though "I'm sorry but that is how love works. Sometimes you love the wrong person, but it doesn't means you will be miserable your whole life. You really need to move on and stop hurting other people. And you" I try to reason with her but she just chuckles again.

"As if it were that easy" Brittany said lifting her cup to drink.

She really must hate Quinn for the way she was talking about her.

"Is not easy, but you need to do it, because you're hurting our relationship with your craziness" I added rising a little bit my voice, because I really _need_ her to stop this.

And I need her to tell me the truth, because I'm sure I didn't cheat on Quinn.

"I still love you Santana, even more than years ago" Brittany says serious with her eyes on me "We could try this, I can make you really happy and we can-"

"No" I quickly interrupt her, wildly shaking my head "Of course not Brittany, less after everything you did"

"But I-"

"I said no, I think is clear enough that I'm madly in love with my wife, isn't it?" I stand up from the chair leaving some cash on the table. We're not going anywhere here anyway so I better go.

"Please just let me show you that I-"

"No thank you, I'm out of here" But before I could even take a step away from the table, Brittany's hand grabs mine.

"Wait, I came here for another reason. I need to tell you something" Her voice and expression changed as I released my hand from hers. She looks kind of guilty and worried now.

Seriously how many expressions and emotions can show just one person in so little time?

Weird

"What is it now?" I hasty asked, I'm not in the mood for more of her madness.

"Can you sit please?" Brittany indicates the chair behind me, I rolled my eyes and I sat.

She looks at me for a while, without saying anything, just looking at me. She passes her hand through her hair and then she watch straight ahead of her, for several seconds. I even turned around to see what the hell she is looking at but I don't see anything else than people drinking coffee.

She rubs her forehead with her both hands, looking down this time.

"Are you going to talk or not?"

My voice makes her looks back at me, and she nods, taking a deep breath before answer me.

"Don't ask me why or how, but Puck is trying to hurt you. He already hired some people"

_What now?_

Did I hear right?

I chuckled, however "Puck hired people to hurt me?" I repeat Brittany's words.

And she nods.

So I did hear right.

This is kind of funny though, and strange for two reasons.

First, he hasn't tried to kick my ass before, which is weird. There's not a concrete reason to do just that, but I know how he feels, you don't have to be so smart to figure that out, he's head over heels for Quinn, and he knows that I won't give up on her, never. He needs to deal with an important and irritating competition, me.

I know right now I'm not Quinn's favorite person, but I also know the strong feelings she still has for me, so that must be killing Puck. If I were him, I would have kicked me months ago. But he is Puck, a lot more stupid.

And hey, hiring some people, really?

He's a fucking bodyguard or something, I think he can handle himself very well. Why don't he just kick my ass for himself? Though honestly, and not to sound haughty, but I don't know if he's as good as me.

But contract some people? Like, what the hell.

Well maybe he's trying to make this as subtle as he can. Without anyone suspecting of him, and making this the perfect occassion to get close to Quinn and get me out of the way.

Why I'm even believing Brittany's words anyway? She's the last person anyone can trust.

"How do you know this? And how do you know Puck?" I asked instinctively.

Because now that I think about it, they don't know each other. So why would Brittany knows something like that?

Maybe they saw each other a couple of times in college, when I used to bring Brittany at parties, but that's it.

"I told you to not ask me that" She looks to the side kind of nervous.

This doesn't smell good, less with Brittany and Puck involved.

"Well, I'm asking now. How the hell do you know him and why do you know this kind of information?" I try again but Brittany quickly stands up, looking down at me with worried eyes.

"I still care about you Santana, that's why I'm telling you this"

She turns around to leave but this time, I'm the one who reach for her hand.

"Tell me" I arched my eyebrow. Brittany successfully release her hand from my grip.

"Just be careful, okay?" And with that, she is out of sight, walking out of here as fast as possible.

"Brittany!" I called after her, catching some people's attention but she doesn't turns around her head and walks out of this place.

I sigh shaking my head while I call someone to pay those shitty coffees.

What the fuck just happened, It just seems like a joke, and precisely coming from the person who has made my life a hell.

But something doesn't feel right, to be honest.


	10. Chapter 10

Santana POV

I lift my hand to dry the raindrops falling down my face wetting my skin. There's just something so enthralling about the rain. I've always loved water falling from the sky, it's unique, that's why I like so much New York's weather. Unlike Quinn who hates cold weather and rain.

Since I was a little girl I've always heard people say that you needed to find someone just like you to fall in love, find your complement, but for my part I think quite the opposite.

Where is the fun to find someone just like you? it's simply boring.

Where is that fresh air or interesting thing, the passion?

For me, find someone different, almost completely different, it's what made me fall in love years ago. And with the prettiest girl if I may add. That helped a lot.

Quinn is my opposite. I'm fire and she's ice. If I like black, she likes white. I like dressing casual and comfy, she dress classy. I love rain, she hates it. I'm not good at all with words, she's a genius. I don't like thinking too much about things, she burns her brain thinking. I don't give a shit about what people think about me and she cares a lot. I'm the most immature woman I've ever known, she's mature and responsible. I do things based on impulses, she does things for convenience and safety, analyzing each option. I'm volatile and arrogant -just sometimes- and Quinn is sweet and caring. I like to do spontaneous things, she does everything planned.

And incredibly important, I'm a big spoon, and she's a little spoon.

I think there isn't even one thing in common with her, and I love it, because Quinn complements me. We're like a puzzle that fits prefectly, every piece fits perfectly.

Besides, it makes things a lot more excited.

That's what I think at least.

I keep walking down the streets, seeing people rush to get under some roof to hide from the rain while I keep enjoying it. They may be thinking I'm stupid or something since I'm wearing shorts an a t-shirt, but who cares. I'm still wearing Quinn's clothes so I'm happy, but with Brittany's words achoing in my head.

I feel my phone vibrate inside my pocket and I pulled it out immediately, maybe Quinn texted me back.

A person can dream right?

A smile arrives immediately in my face when I see her name on my screen. Dream came true.

But the smile is quickly replaced with a frown upon reading the message.

**-Can you please come over?-**

I thought she didn't want to talk with me? Or that she was mad?

Women

Hopefully this distance between us won't last too long. I need to figure out something soon to get her back.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I knock on the door as I wait for her outside. It's really fucking cold right now, seems like the grades dropped even more. I mean I like the rain and low temperature, but today the air is really fucking chilly.

Luckily after just a few seconds, the door opens revealing my beautiful wife.

"Hey" Quinn greets me with a worried and tired face as she steps aside to let me in. I know that her usual self towards me is always distant, but right now her expression reflects concern.

"Are you okay?" I asked her before entering the apartment and walking straight to that comfy couch we bought together.

"Why are you soaked?" Quinn ignored my question while looking at me, analyzing my whole appearance and then she rolls her eyes, something that is so Quinn "Don't tell me you were walking without an umbrella or jacket" She just knows me that well.

I sit on the couch and she walks over doing the same.

"Something like that" I shrug and she shakes her head.

"Do you want some coffee to warm up?"

She can't be this nice after our small argument, because I do left this apartment a little too angry earlier, and I feel kind of bad now.

"No thank you"

"Then go and changes your clothes Santana, you're going to catch a cold" Quinn gives me a pointed look before standing up and going inside the kitchen, and by the sounds she's making to make some coffee despite my answer.

I reluctant stand up from the couch, because she's right somehow.

She's always right.

I walk inside the master room and quickly start to look for some of her clothes.

Have I mentioned how much I love wearing her clothes? Because I love it.

* * *

><p>Once I'm changed again, I walked over Quinn's bed where Bella is fast asleep. She looks so freaking cute with her pink pj and a small smile playing in her lips. I give her a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room. Thank god Bella's cold is gone now, I was kinda scared to be honest.<p>

I walked with my wet clothes straight to the washer that is just outside the kitchen but before entering there, I leaned on the door frame watching Quinn putting coffee on two big cups. She looks flawless doing everything.

"Were you going to put those clothes somewhere?" She asks me without lifting her head.

Does she has eyes on her back or something now?

"Yeah" I stupidly answered before walking inside and putting her wet short and shirt on the washer.

The machine does the work by itself, so Quinn has no right to complain.

"Here" she hands me a cup biting her lip.

Is not a sexy bite, it's her nervous bite.

"Everything alright?" I softly asked her while approaching a little bit. She seems uncomfortable and doubtful, judging by her small fingers buried in the warm cup of coffee and her eyes scanning everywhere in the room I'd say that she does looks nervous.

She wants to tell me something, for sure.

And I get kind of nervous myself.

"Let's go to the couch" There it is.

Quinn turns around and I follow her. We sat on the couch, but entire seconds passed before any of us could say something.

I tentatively lean a little more, wanting to be as close as possible with her. And she doesn't seems to care so I lean a little more and now our thighs are touching.

I take one last sip of coffee before leave the cup on the coffee table. And I turn around my body to face her.

"About what do you want to talk?" I asked Quinn but she remains with her head down. "Quinn?"

Quinn leaves her cup on the small table as well and turns around to looks at me. Her eyes searched mine, looking for something behind, I don't know what though.

"Please don't freak out, and please promise me you won't listen to him. You can't go back to what you used to do Santana" She says in a hurry, and I don't understand anything "We can call the police and maybe-"

"Okay stop there" I grabbed her hands to calm her down. What the hell does she wants to tell me that has her so frightened? "The police? Are you okay? Is Bella okay?"

I sigh when she nods frantically. "Yes, we are" Quinn let go of my hands to put her own hands inside her thighs, something she does often lately "Biff came over a while ago"

_What?_

"Did you just say Biff?" I must have heard wrong. It's been a while since the last time I heard about that fucking bastard. Of course I heard wrong.

But Quinn nods and my breathing stops altogether.

No fucking way.

A stupid resentment and rage makes me lift my body off the couch. "What did he want?" Quinn stands up as well taking my hand in hers "And how the hell does he knows where we live?"

I might or might not slipped out the 'we'.

"First, calm down" Quinn makes me sit down with her again, and honestly, her thumb rubbing the back of my hand is indeed distracting and calming. "He just said he needed a favor, and I really don't know how he knows but with a lot of money you can do a lot of things. And you know it"

Yes, I know.

"What favor?" I asked impatient.

"He needs your help with something, and if you don't want to help him I need to convince you" She shakes her head like dejected with her words. "That's what he said"

I pulled away Quinn's hands as I re-listen her in my head. I close my eyes as I rub my forehead. Quinn was alone here with Bella, something could have happened to them with that psycho.

"He's dead man" I try to stand up again to go and find him, but before I could even make the attempt to lift my ass off the couch Quinn's hand is on my shoulder, softly pulling me down.

"Could you please calm down" She reasons with me "We can just call the police and sue him" I don't know if that was a question or a statement. "And besides, he said he'll hurt you if you don't help him. We need to go to the police San, please" She says showing fear in her eyes and voice.

"He can't just show up here after months Quinn. Less with the things he did to you"

I mean, really?

"I know" Quinn nods.

"Then why the hell you don't let me go and kick his damn ass again?" I frowned and raised my voice.

"Because I don't want you to get into troubles" Her fragile and soft voice makes me want to wrap her in my arms.

I sigh as I let myself rest on the back of the couch.

She's right, my life is fucked up enough to add another problem.

But I don't care.

"Sorry but I'll go. He'll learn to not come over here and bother you anymore, trust me" I close my eyes as I stretch myself a little.

Biff will not want to ask for another favor with the punches I'll give him, fucking sick asshole. He still thinks he's some sort of God or something apparently, but he's just an useless man.

I lifted up my arms to put it behind my head as I take another deep breathe. Why I'm always full of problems?

I was about to stand up to do what I just said when I feel Quinn's body pressed against mine. With her head on the crook of my neck and hugging me tight with her left arm behind my back, and the other over my waist.

"Please don't" She breathed as her hold around me tightened.

I opened my eyes to see better the sight in front of me. It kinda reminds me of all the times back in New Heaven where I needed to go out late at nights, and Quinn would do the same.

For pure instinct, I hugged her as well. Because the only thing my body really knows how to do right is love Quinn.

On the other hand though, I really need to ask Biff what the hell he wants now.

"I need to talk a few things with him" I murmured against her hair after a while.

"I know, but you can just call him or..." She trailed off "You can go there later with someone else, I don't know. Just stay here okay?"

Her breathe against my neck makes my knees go weak. And really, is tempting and so easy to give in and say 'okay' to whatever she says or want. I just don't think there is someone able to deny Quinn something with those eyes and that voice.

"What kind of favor did he want? He told you?" I changed the topic while my left hand begins to make circles on her shoulder, unconsciously bringing her closer against my body.

"Something involved illegal documents"

Of course he wants that.

I won't help him though, not even in a million years.

Quinn's hands caressing me over my shirt makes me slowly forget about all this rage. Being hugging by her like this feels really great, even more after our argument earlier. It's as if she's trying to make me stay at any cost.

I lifted my hand from her shoulder to her head and start to stroke her soft hair, she nuzzled her nose on my neck making my heart race.

"Promise me you won't go back to do those things" She mumbles before kissing my skin, kissing my neck several times. It feels really good.

It melt my entire soul knowing that she cares this much about me. I know deep down that Quinn loves me, but as always, I need to hear it. It is not enough to assume something, sometimes people need reassurance, to actually _hear_ these kind of things.

I can't think straight with her lips still kissing me though, is really distracting.

I lowered my head to try my luck, and I smoothly reached out, touching her chin and lifting up her so beautiful face.

I'll never understand how can so much perfection fit in just one person.

I meet her hazel eyes and she gives me a small smile, leaning her cheek on my hand and apparently enjoying my touch.

I lean down a little bit more, and I think we both closed our eyes at the same time before feel her hands getting inside my shirt, touching my bare skin.

I'm going to kiss her now.

I touched my nose with hers giving her time to back out, because after all, she was the one who didn't want to know anything about me this morning.

But she doesn't pulls away.

I slowly, extremely slowly touched my lips with hers, capturing her bottom lip in between mine as a welcoming warmth crosses through my body and she let out a gentle sigh. I don't do anything else though, I hold her lip between my own lips for a couple of seconds before pulling slightly away, and kissing her mouth, resting my lips against hers and caressing my way down to her neck with my fingers. I pulled away from her again, looking down at her eyes that remains closed.

Is breathtaking how I can almost see a smile on her face, but not quite seeing anything, just that unforgettable sparkle in her eyes.

I lean down, pecking her lips again, but this time she slightly open her mouth to wrap my bottom lip on her own before pulling away.

I open my eyes and I find her looking at me with a really intense gaze. I lean down yet again to kiss her lips. I give her short and gentle kisses on her inviting lips for minutes. Resting my lips on hers and occasionally, barely touching her lips, which makes Quinn lifts a little more her head to press them properly.

It feels like we're just teasing each other's mouth. Just feeling that so soft and familiar contact.

Quinn however, after a while, wants a little more apparently because she pulls her left arm off my naked torso to grab my face and finally sealing our mouths, this time in a passionate kiss. And I of course kiss her back right away.

I turned around my body a little more for a better angle and she does the same. We kiss like we haven't seen each other's for months. But after everything that has happened, maybe it is like that.

After tasting her sweet tongue long enough, we pulled away. And just for the lack of air, nothing else.

"Maybe this is not a good idea right now" She imply before looking to the side trying to avoid my eyes.

"Maybe, but we both wanted it" I simple said, and suprisingly enough, she smiled.

Quinn rest her head on my chest again hugging me.

"I think we need to talk" She sighs and I slightly laugh, because really, That's what I've been trying to tell her for months "We need to talk now San" Her hands reach under my shirt again with determined movements. "About us" Us.

I smiled with that implication. About time.

"I agree with you" I'm glad she finally decided to start some sort of conversation between us, something that is really necessary. It's necessary clarifies certain things, because I was going crazy with all those words unspoken.

I was just respecting her wish these past few months.

So I guess here we go...

"Let me start first please" I murmured and she nods. "First of all" I know I need to tell her this. No lies, no problems "I met with Brittany today a few hours ago" Her head immediately lifts from my chest and her eyes finds mine. The look she's giving is like suprised and sadness.

Time for a dangerously jealous Quinn?

"Do you keep-"

"No" I cut her before she could even finish that sentence "I really don't know what happened Quinn, that's why I been contacting Brittany ever since that night, because I'm sure she has something to do with what happened"

This isn't a comfortable topic to be talking about but it needs to be done.

The sooner the better

"I think she did something, you know, because the last person I saw that night was her. After that I don't remember anything" Quinn frowns, and damn she looks cute.

She looks up at me with an even more remarkable frown. "Do you think she... did something to you?" Quinn asked me reluctant.

I shrugh, because I really don't know but is highly possible "The only thing I know for sure, is that I didn't have sex with her" I said risking this semi-calm atmosphere that seems to be in the air.

I won't tell her about the 'Puck thing' just yet, I would rather spend this time talking about us, besides I still need to confirm that information. You can't trust in Brittany.

I take a breathe to organize my thoughts while I look at her, she seems to be doing the same.

"Well I did find you naked with her in our bed, how do you want me to believe you?" Quinn snapped. Why is she so against what I say all the time?

"You are trusting in her word and not mine, Quinn"

"I'm trusting in what I saw, Santana" She answers rather upset imitating my tone, with a hint of hurt behind those eyes.

Understandable.

I grabbed her both hands and she looked at me again "I just need you to trust me right now babe"

I know is hard to believe what I'm saying, but is the fucking truth.

She pulled away her hands however, and stands up.

"Do you saw her today?" Quinn asked weakly.

"Yeah" I stand up as well walking to her side.

"What for?"

"To ask what the hell happened that night, _again_" What else?

"And?" Quinn questioned hopefully waiting for something. Something good, obviously.

I'll have to break that hope though.

"She just say that we slept together and-"

"So she is sure about you two sleeping together but you don't?" The incredulously in her voice makes me believe that she isn't buying what I'm telling her.

"Well yeah, that's what she keeps saying. It doesn't mean it's true though"

"Then why are you so sure it didn't happen? I found you and Brittany naked, and she does say you fucked her" Quinn tells me exasperated "All the facts proves you wrong Santana, sadly so"

Well I'm telling the truth, why the hell no one believes me.

I know I had a bad reputation with girls, but she's different for me. I chaged years ago for her, not because I was forced but because I wanted to. I wanted just one girl with me. She's still the one that I want.

"She had already lied to me before, and she's lying now" I walked closer to her and I take her hand in mine, just because I need any type of contact with her to go on with this conversation "Please just give me time to prove it babe. I love you, I'm crazy in love with you Quinn, I would never cheat on you" I finished with trembling voice.

Surprisingly, she support her both hands on my chest. Everytime Quinn touches me or attempt to touch me is because she isn't _that_ mad anymore. That's good.

"I really want to believe you" Quinn whispered, with her eyes lost somewhere "Is just that... it's really hard trust in your word after what I saw that night" I know it is.

"I know" I simple said.

Quinn lifted her head looking at me deeply, it even gives me goosebumps the intensity of her gaze. In a really good and exciting way "After what happened last night something changed, for me at least" She says nervously before sighing, a tired sigh "I just know that I miss you and..." She doesn't have idea how comforting is hearing her saying that. "I don't know, I guess I need time to put all my thoughts together for now"

"You can have all the time you want princess" I happily tell her with a big smile that she hardly return.

The last thing I can do is give her time. I need time to figure out how to find out the truth as well, and that way, maybe things could go back to how they were before.

I really hope so.

"But having sex with you, and kissing you..." Quinn begins with a tone that I don't like at all "It confuses me even more Santana, maybe we shouldn't do it until things are clear again" Why is she thinking about that as a bad thing? "I mean, we should be friends first, I don't know" _She_ doesn't even sound convincing with her own words.

"What are you trying to say Quinn?"

She pulled away her hands from me and turns around her head, "I don't know"

_I don't know?_ Those three simple words could easily break my heart again, but I think I had enough of broken heart already.

"You don't know what you want now? That includes me? How you can not know what you want?!" I asked loud and desperate but it makes her eyes returns to mine.

Aside of let her friends manipulate her, that's another of Quinn's big problems, she can easily change her mind.

"Do you?" She challenged me "Santana after all this mess, after all those sick theories about what really happened on our wedding night, I don't know what is right or not anymore" She says exalted "Half of my friends say bad things about you and the other half say otherwise. My head will explode at any time" Quinn's hand lifted up to put some hair behind her ear before looking my way "I don't want to make bad decisions again, I need time. And..." I shake my head before swallowing an ironic laugh, we are not going anywhere again.

She looks to the side again with her eyes full of hurt "Fuck, I don't know Santana" Quinn whispered confused and with her eyes shining. "I feel so..." So what... ? I arched my eyebrows, her voice cracks and she doesn't finish her sentence.

Don't tell me she's about to cry, not right now please. My chest tightened immediately at the sight, even more if this sadness is because of me.

Should I be relief or not that she didn't say anything?

How does she feel? She feels _so ..._?

I don't even want to know all the things she must be thinking right now. So much information and headache for this stressful day, is enough.

I was about to walk towards her and wrap her body in my arms when the doorbell rang.

"Hey little sis' are you in there?"

Franny

Just great.


End file.
